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Wow...I would be so mad. I agree with everyone about getting your insurance company involved. Even if they don't do much, they can certainly tell *you* what you need to do and how. I wish you luck.
Hey everyone, thanks for all the feedback. I really appreciate it.
My insurance company, State Farm, is advising me to work with the shuttle/valet company directly since they are admitting fault. And if I don't like the results, to then file a claim. That is the advice I'm getting from State Farm sooooo ....
I drove to Oscar's body shop where they want me to go to and it is, in fact, a reasonably (if bare bones) legitimate shop that appears well-maintained and equipped. Without explaining to them who I was or why I was there, I asked his recommendation to make it look "new/showroom" again. The guy recommended a complete bumper replacement and wrote up an estimate for the bumper ($310), paint ($90), labor ($125), and tax ($7). He also wrote down the paint code from inside the door jam. His estimate came out to: $538.38. The fact that he recommends a bumper replacement inspires confidence, but we will see if his story stands when he finds out I'm friends with his cousin's brother's uncle of the shuttle valet/company.
To double-check, I am working with Criswell Honda to get an estimate from them. I would imagine that it will be dealer rates and much higher. I've asked them if they use a body shop to do the work or if they order a Honda bumper prepainted Silverstone and install it themselves. I'm still waiting on a response from them.
My outstanding concern:
If I authorize the work to be done at Oscar's, how do I really know that the shuttle/valet company is going to pay for it? All I have from them is a verbal agreement that they will pay Oscar's for the work. I'm going to ask for a signed letter from them saying that they authorize and will pay for all work done at Oscar's related to this incident. Their incident report (pic below) doesn't technically admit fault or state that they will pay for all related repairs.
Answers to various comments from others:
I talked to someone at DC police headquarters. They don't do accident reports on private property if the damage is minimal. It would have to be several thousand before they get involved.
I took pictures of the lot with the cones set-up making it clear that it is a real spot during the day.
I crawled underneath the S with a flashlight and inspected the damage. That part of the bumper appears to be completely hollow. It looks like the damage is purely cosmetic.
I am definitely lucky that the rear quarter panel wasn't damaged
I'll keep everyone posted. Thanks for all the empathy. Much appreciated!