As a courtesy to the community, the NES2KO is proud to present a new service called "Ask the Jack Master." On this thread, feel free to ask our "Uncle Steve" any questions you want about the many common and uncommon uses for a floor jack. Here is an example.

Dear Jack Master,

With the high cost of gas, and the great distances I have to drive to get to meets and go on group drives, I just don't have the extra money to buy the body mods I'd like to change the appearance of my car. Any ideas?

 

That's a very good question... let me consult my jack and think about it...

a great free mod is to remove the windshield tape

OR

you could be like Ariel and have a HAWT women ride shot gun with you.. most people wil be staring at the HAWT girl and not even notice that your car is not modded..

and speaking of high gas prices.. remember Uncle steve says

 

Dear Jack Master,

I love clipping coupons and saving money. I mean really who doesn't? However, my other great love is performing S&M with old ladies. Is there a web site I can frequent to meet these needs?

Thanks,

Gimp coupon clipper

 

Jack Master Hmmmmm where did you get that name? Was it something to do with jacks or something else NSFW?

 

[QUOTE=MidnightDragon,Jul 23 2006, 12:20 PM] Jack Master Hmmmmm where did you get that name? Was it something to do with jacks or something else NSFW?

 

Dear JackMaster,

I work with a hobbit that likes to think he's a parrot and repeat everything he hears. what can I do?

 

That's an easy one - shoot the hobit in head when no one is looking and when people come running over to see what happened simply walk away slowly while whistling the star spangled banner !!

 

Dear Jack Master,

At some point my car obsessive husband will take all the wheels off of our S in order to clean them, or some other such foolish thing.

I FEAR this may involve jacking up the car. I have heard horror stories of "do it yourselfers" jacking up cars.

Since you ARE the Jack Master, I thought you MIGHT be able to supply us with a list of JACK DON'Ts.

Can you help?

 

Another easy one

I am sure your husband has years of jacking experience... so if i could give him one sound bit of advice - keep me far away from the jack

 

Dear Jack Master,

It's a strange, strange world we live in, Jack Master.
You taught me all I know and I never look back.
It's a very strange world and I thank you, Jack Master.

You took a current ribbon from out of the sky,
and taught me how to use it as the years went by.
To tie up all your problems and make them believe.
And then to sell them to the people in the street.

It's a strange, strange world we live in, Jack Master.
You taught me all I know and I never look back.
It's a very strange world and I thank you, Jack Master.

I saw right thru the way you started teaching me now.
So someday soon you could get to use me somehow.
I thank you very much you know you've been very kind.
But, I'd better move along before you change my mind

It's a strange, strange world we live in, Jack Master
No hard feelings if I never come back
It's a very strange world and I thank you, Jack Master

You taught me all the things the way you'd like 'em to be.
But I'd like to see if better people agree.
It's all very interesting the way you disguise.
But I'd like to see the world thru my own eyes.

It's a strange, strange world we live in, Jack Master.
No hard feelings if I never come back
You're a very strange man and I thank you, Jack Master.
You're a very strange man and I thank you, Jack Master.
You're a very strange man, aren't you, Jack Master?