a liitle close to home these days

new VP of HR and not two days into the job he hires a consultant

 

I hear you've been having a problem with your TPS reports - Whats up with that??

 

I like bob better in scrubs.

 

"And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire... "

 

Ill show you my O face... O O O O

 

So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

 

I'm gonna go ahead and have you come in on Saturday.

 

On any given day, I'd say, I do about 15 mins of real actual work...

 

You see, apparently, there was a "glitch" in the system...

 

"Well... well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people? "