Top Jack Bauer Facts:


There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television.

Ordinary people have panic attacks. Chuck Norris has Jack Bauer attacks!

Jack Bauer doesn't need to search the internet, he just stares a computer down until it gives him the information he needs.

Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them.

If Jack Bauer was Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

If everyone listened to Jack Bauer, the show would be called 12.

Jack bauer once shot himself ten times, just to prove that 50 cent is a bitch.

Kiefer Sutherland drinks to forget all the terrible things Jack Bauer has done.

Jack Bauer once lost reception on his cell phone. 24 hours later AT&T announced that it would have more bars in more places.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

God had to give Jack Bauer immunity on the sixth commandment "Thou shalt not kill". If he hadn't, Jack would've considered God to be a terrorist and God knows what happens to terrorists.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Vin Diesel can be rearranged to say "I end lives." Jack Bauer can be rearranged to say "Jack Bauer," which means the same thing.

When Chuck Norris and Superman have sleep overs, they argue over who has the cooler Jack Bauer Pajamas...

Jack Bauer is the only reason why Waldo is hiding.

Jack Bauer refused a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a gun and a bucket.

Jack Bauer does not run out of ammunition. He simply lets everyone else have their moment to shine.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer made a brief cameo in the film "Stand By Me" as the local bully. His character got so pissed off when the boys didn't let him take the dead body that seven years later, he killed River Phoenix. Jack Bauer never forgets.

Jack Bauer doesn't need a translator, torture sounds the same in every language.

Harry Houdini is the world's second greatest escape artist. The First is Jack Bauer. I never saw Houdini bite a guy's neck in order to escape.

Kryptonite is not really from Krypton. It is made from Jack Bauer's crap, that is why it can kill Superman.

Jack Bauer is what Willis was talking about.

There was no best man at Jack Bauer's wedding, Jack Bauer is always the best man.




Lots more here:

http://www.jackbauerfacts.com/



And don't retort with any Chuck Norris BS; Jack would own Chuck!

 

Top site, I'm gonna have a laugh when I finish going through all 137 pages!

 

Not.

Sorry, I like 24, but Chuck Norris > Jack Bauer

 

Made me cringe a little...

 

 

Lots of "repeats" on that page/list, didn't bother going through all of em after I went through about 5 pages. But still a funny read.