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Alcohol Consumption

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Old Oct 25, 2001 | 08:58 AM
  #1  
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From: Jersey City
Default Alcohol Consumption

Alcohol Consumption -- FDA Warnings...

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear
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Old Oct 26, 2001 | 08:10 AM
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Alcohol is good!
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Old Oct 26, 2001 | 10:16 AM
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Originally posted by S2K Fan
Alcohol is good!


Amen
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Old Oct 26, 2001 | 12:27 PM
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"The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. "

Hmmm ... I would NEVER do that ....
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Old Oct 26, 2001 | 12:55 PM
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good stuff.
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Old Oct 26, 2001 | 01:18 PM
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.
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Old Oct 26, 2001 | 01:25 PM
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The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think the hot chick with that guy over there is really bored and would rather be talking to you.
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Old Oct 26, 2001 | 01:55 PM
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heh.
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