Any good "blonde" jokes?
09-20-2001, 08:20 PM
#1
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Any good "blonde" jokes?
Such as......
An executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."
An executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."
09-21-2001, 04:31 AM
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My favorite Blond joke (moderators feel free to delete if this is deemed unsuitable):
A blond is speeding late at night and gets pulled over by a state trooper.
Since she had also been weaving a bit, the cop suspects she might be intoxicated.
Then she asks, "Officer, if I get another ticket, my husband will just kill me. Is there anything I can do to avoid getting one (eyelashes batting)?
"Maam", said the officer, unzipping his fly," I need you to blow into this tube to see if you've been drinking."
A blond is speeding late at night and gets pulled over by a state trooper.
Since she had also been weaving a bit, the cop suspects she might be intoxicated.
Then she asks, "Officer, if I get another ticket, my husband will just kill me. Is there anything I can do to avoid getting one (eyelashes batting)?
"Maam", said the officer, unzipping his fly," I need you to blow into this tube to see if you've been drinking."
09-21-2001, 08:18 AM
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You mean, ones like these?
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SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT.............
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put
Sagittarius.
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes were committed around the home, she moved.
It took her months to figure out she could use her AM radio at night.
She was staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "concentrate".
She thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
She told me to meet her at the corner of WALK & DON'T WALK.
When she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said Airport Left, she turned around and went home.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
Under education on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
She studied for a blood test and failed.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
She sold her car so she would have gas money.
She looked into a box of Cheerios and said, "OH, LOOK!! Donutseeds!!"
She couldn't be a pharmacist because she can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
What's the definition of "eternity?" 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front"
-------------------------------------------------
"She told me to meet her at the corner of WALK & DON'T WALK"........I love it!
-------------------------------------------
SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT.............
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put
Sagittarius.
If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes were committed around the home, she moved.
It took her months to figure out she could use her AM radio at night.
She was staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "concentrate".
She thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.
She told me to meet her at the corner of WALK & DON'T WALK.
When she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said Airport Left, she turned around and went home.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
Under education on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
She studied for a blood test and failed.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
She sold her car so she would have gas money.
She looked into a box of Cheerios and said, "OH, LOOK!! Donutseeds!!"
She couldn't be a pharmacist because she can't fit the bottle in the typewriter.
What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle? A dope ring.
What's the definition of "eternity?" 4 blondes at a 4-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean? An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar
Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? "This Goes In Front"
-------------------------------------------------
"She told me to meet her at the corner of WALK & DON'T WALK"........I love it!
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09-21-2001, 10:14 AM
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A blond runs into the emergency room.
"Doctor! Doctor! You have to help me, please!" she screamed.
"What? What seems to be the problem, miss?" asked a doctor.
"I don't know, its just that whenever I touch myself, it hurts really bad!" said the blonde.
She pokes her arm with her right index finger and screams in pain, then she pokes her leg and screams in pain. She pokes her other hand and screams again.
The doctor chuckled and asked to see her right hand. After looking over it, he said to her, "Miss, your right index finger is broken"
I heard this joke somewhere a long time ago, and it was told slightly different... but that is what I remember of it. The original is probably funnier
"Doctor! Doctor! You have to help me, please!" she screamed.
"What? What seems to be the problem, miss?" asked a doctor.
"I don't know, its just that whenever I touch myself, it hurts really bad!" said the blonde.
She pokes her arm with her right index finger and screams in pain, then she pokes her leg and screams in pain. She pokes her other hand and screams again.
The doctor chuckled and asked to see her right hand. After looking over it, he said to her, "Miss, your right index finger is broken"
I heard this joke somewhere a long time ago, and it was told slightly different... but that is what I remember of it. The original is probably funnier
09-21-2001, 10:35 AM
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Teqneek,
That's great. I just told every blonde in my office. They all cracked up. Now I'm just waiting to hear from Human Resources.
*sits in his office quietly working*
That's great. I just told every blonde in my office. They all cracked up. Now I'm just waiting to hear from Human Resources.
*sits in his office quietly working*
09-21-2001, 12:30 PM
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then looks at her, looks at the pieces once again and then slowly turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
Second, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee, and then.....we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.
I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then looks at her, looks at the pieces once again and then slowly turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
Second, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee, and then.....we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.