Let's start from the fact that I am from Boston Massachusetts.

I am almost heart broken. Long story short, I have a best friend that went to my school and I chilled with almost 24/7 back in High School. You know... One of those best friends that are more then a friend, but like a brother from another mother.

I was an assistant Manager for District Manager @ GNC Health Nutrition for 2 yrs when I was in HS and offered my best friend a job as a sales man and he failed and was fired by my district manger in less than 3 weeks! THIS WAS 3 YEARS AGO.

Now I work for a Respectable mortgage company here in Arizona and doing well... THANK GOD *knock on wood.* I am a hard worker and the fact that I went to school in Russian and had hardcore schooling back then made me mature early and allowed me to have the success in life that I have now. But that is not the case with him.... He is very Americanized and some what lazy.

I just got off the phone with him and he tells me he is not sure If I offer him another job thru my friends or just in general any opportunity here in Arizona or Boston he would not feel responsible enough to NOT **** it up. He is afraid of making me look bad again or disappoint me so. He rather work for Whole Foods at age of 21. I told him that he needs to grow up but at the same time I feel like I am letting my 21yr old Best Friend take the lazy route and give up. I want him to be successful as I am if not more then I am. I want him to have w/e he wants and I don't want him to work for McDonald

 

first of all, you need to listen to yourself. no offense intended, but you are being a dick.

it's nice that you want "what's best" for your friend, but what you are really saying is that your way is the right way and he is bad, lazy and wrong. you're being a horrible friend. a good friend accepts their friend for who they ARE currently, not who they COULD be one day. you sound like a woman who marries a guy and tries to fix him.

if your friend wants to live that way, let him. hang out with him, have fun. dont rub your money in his face, respect his decisions, never talk down to him. that's what you should do. oh, and keep your ego in check from time to time.

just noticed your sig. what would you say if your friend wrote "please help me. my best friend in the world is obsessed with money and status. how can i get him to see what's really important in life?"

 

True I agree, I just feel as if every one should work as hard as possible and in the position that he is in life curently and his family since I know him so well makes me feel as if he could be in a better postion then he is right now. He could make his family happyer and just in general why is is it bad motivate him? He knows I don't mean no harm. I just feel like he is turning away from responsibility.

If I am truly being an asshole I will back off. But If i was in his shoes I would jump all over the oportunity that I am offering him. He always complains about not having a good job, not making enogh. When I tell him im there for him and ill go ahead and take care of him he backs off and tells me "No man I don't think im ready, I don't wanna make u look bad if I **** up."

So what does that tell me, you are unhappy where you are but you aren't taking the steps to be scusessfull.

Pss: Btw in the sig is my fav song by JZ. The beat and lyrics are bad ass.


Eeeek: Or maybe I had too much to drink.

 

He is the master of his own fate...you can't lead him around and make him a mirror image of yourself, get over it. This doesn't mean that you can't be friends anymore. Just take him for what he is, and he's still a friend.

 

[QUOTE=dyhppy,Jun 1 2007, 12:02 AM] first of all, you need to listen to yourself.

 

Exactly we are still great friends. Just can't motivate him to do ANYTHING.

I can't just sit back and pretend like nothing is wrong when he is complaining, but at the same time not taking action.

 

I'm actually impressed that your friend said he probably wouldn't be responsible enough if you helped him score a job. Based on what you're saying, he's probably right.

Of course you want your best friend to be successful, although it may be that you two have different definitions of "successful." Regardless, if you want to motivate him, whatever you've done so far hasn't worked, so you'll need to find a better way. Might help to know where his lack of motivation is coming from...

Does your friend even know what he wants to do in terms of a career? I worked at some crappy jobs until I figured what I truly wanted to do. Crappy job is better than no job.

 

your friend is being a lot more mature than you by telling you up front that he doesn't want to take an offer from a friend and end up embarassing them. Sure, life is all about taking risks, but what kind of person would he be if he talked a good game but let you down every time?

Your idea of "success" is rather limited, IMHO. Your friend is what, 21? His life is hardly over. Cut him some slack. Not everyone is obsessed with making money.

There is nothing more irritating than a mortgage broker who thinks they are making more money than anyone ever. If you like what you do, fine. But stop thinking eveyone should do it, or that doing something else is some sort of failure. There are so many people making more money than you it is silly, and clearly puts your position in perspective. The difference between you and your friend is rather small, in the big picture.

 

Tell him to go to college and get a degree.

 

"Money oriented" as some of you say I am. No I am success oriented and with success and HARD WORK comes money. You think it comes easy? But w/e people are too eager to jump too conclusions here. Some of you just don't know. For all I care you can sit on your ass and work 8 hours a day if that