I don't go to very many funerals. I just went for the husband of my co-worker.

We were there for just over a hour. the last 30 minutes the guy preached. It had nothing to do with Cliff. Is that normal?

at some point he claimed some bullshit about a dead deer just up the road being a reminder of cliff and how "he" works in funny ways to remind us of people....

ahahah... i am sure Cliff wanted everyone to think of him when they see roadkill...

I think my funeral will be about 5 minutes to remind everyone what an asshole I am (which will probably be fresh in their minds anyway) and then the Mt. Dew will be served.

 

free soda? nice...

 

I don't want one - & I would rather be cremated and not put in an urn. I have been to too many funerals with people wailing on for hours whilst gazing upon a waxen corpse in an open casket talking about how good he/she looks... That's just me though.

 

If anyone even bothers to show up.



The average funeral length that I've been to has been around 45 minutes or so.

 

I've been to ones that lasted an hour and a half. The last one I attended was about 30 minutes from start to finish (not counting everyone walking past the casket). I think about 45 minutes is normal - depends on the number of people that want to stand up in front of everyone and cry their way through some speech, song, or poem.

 

You do not want to attend a Russian Othodox one unless you have all day free.

 

sounds like you guys have never been to the dreaded "older than dirt, devout catholic, filipino relative that you never even knew" funeral. those are the wooooorrrssst. they last for hooooooouurrrsss. catholic weddings take forever too. blehh!

i love mt. dew.

 

I don't know about the average but, coincidentally, my father's memorial service was held yesterday and the prepared-religious-speech part was about 20 minutes, while the 'open mic' portion took another 30-odd minutes. It was still too long for me.

 

yes I have, less the Catholic part. Protestants can drag it out ad infitum as well...

I'm kinda partial to Coca-Cola (we don't say Coke 'round here)

 

-my condolences.