A classic joke
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From: USR, NJ
A classic joke
This is a classic. I still laugh every time I read it.
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An English school teacher was looking for rooms in Switzerland. She
called upon the local schoolmaster to help her find an apartment that would
be suitable. Such rooms were found and she returned to London for her
belongings. She remembered that she had not noticed a bathroom, or as she
called it, "a water closet". She wrote to the schoolmaster and asked if there
was a "W.C." in or near the apartment.
The schoolmaster, not knowing the English expression, was puzzled by the
'W.C.", never dreaming that she was talking about a bathroom. He finally
sought advice from the parish priest. They concluded that she must mean a
Wayside Chapel. The lady received the following letter a few days later.
Dear Madam:
The W.C. is located 9 miles from the house, in the heart of a beautiful
grove of trees. It will seat 150 people at one time, and is open on Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Sundays.
Some people bring their lunch and make a day of it. On Thursdays there is
an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are very good. The slightest sound can
be heard by everyone. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her
husband at the W C. We are now in the process of taking donations to purchase
new plush seats. We feel that this is a long-felt need, as the present seats
have holes in them.
My wife, being rather delicate, hasn't been able to attend regularly. It
has been six months since she last went. Naturally, it pains her not to be
able to go more often.
I will close now with the desire to accommodate you in every way
possible, and will be happy to save you a seat either down front or near the
door, as you prefer.
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An English school teacher was looking for rooms in Switzerland. She
called upon the local schoolmaster to help her find an apartment that would
be suitable. Such rooms were found and she returned to London for her
belongings. She remembered that she had not noticed a bathroom, or as she
called it, "a water closet". She wrote to the schoolmaster and asked if there
was a "W.C." in or near the apartment.
The schoolmaster, not knowing the English expression, was puzzled by the
'W.C.", never dreaming that she was talking about a bathroom. He finally
sought advice from the parish priest. They concluded that she must mean a
Wayside Chapel. The lady received the following letter a few days later.
Dear Madam:
The W.C. is located 9 miles from the house, in the heart of a beautiful
grove of trees. It will seat 150 people at one time, and is open on Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Sundays.
Some people bring their lunch and make a day of it. On Thursdays there is
an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are very good. The slightest sound can
be heard by everyone. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her
husband at the W C. We are now in the process of taking donations to purchase
new plush seats. We feel that this is a long-felt need, as the present seats
have holes in them.
My wife, being rather delicate, hasn't been able to attend regularly. It
has been six months since she last went. Naturally, it pains her not to be
able to go more often.
I will close now with the desire to accommodate you in every way
possible, and will be happy to save you a seat either down front or near the
door, as you prefer.
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Joined: Oct 2000
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From: Palm Springs
Talking of English.....I don't know whether you've seen this one:
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".
During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
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From: Houston
Originally posted by 1Y2KS2K
... After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
... After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Mark