113:47:24 to go!! woohoo!!






sorry, i need another 24 fix.

 

Got this Email this morning - some are funny, some aren't.

>If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
>Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
>Jack Bauer's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd because no one fools Jack Bauer.
>If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
>Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
>Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
>"The valley of the shadow of death", refers to anywhere within a 25 mile radius of Jack Bauer.
>Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
>If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef - then its beef.
>When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
>1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
>A day without torture is like a day without sunshine to Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer has a great tan.
>Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
>Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted Jack Bauer.
>Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.
>In the event of a crash, your corpse doubles as Jack Bauer's flotation device.
>Jack Bauer's house has an alarm system -- not to warn Jack of intruders, but to warn intruders of Jack.
>Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.
>Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
>Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, stillalive.
>It's no use crying over spilt milk. Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
>Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
>Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
>Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that wimp went to the hospital first.
>There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
>Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.
>When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
>If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.
>Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
>Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something - then you better do it.
>Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
>The only difference between Jack Bauer and the electric chair is that Jack Bauer makes you talk first.
>In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid" and "Best Eyes."
>Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.
>When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
>If Jack Bauer shot you while quail hunting, it wouldn't be an accident.
>There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.
>When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
>Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're dead."
>On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
>Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
>There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. They are = all Jack Bauer.
>Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
>You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
>Jack Bauer doesn't play the game SORRY. Jack Bauer apologizes to no one.
>If Jack Bauer saw a terrorist reaching for a bomb to blow himself up, Jack would shoot the bomb first. Nobody steals a kill from Jack Bauer.
>Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
>When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
>What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
>Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret.
>People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
>Die Hard is the funniest movie Jack Bauer's ever seen.
>During the commercials, Jack Bauer calls the CSI detectives and solves their crimes.
>Jack has broken Tony's leg, knocked Curtis out, and shot
>George Mason with a tranquilizer dart. Temporary incapacitation is Jack Bauer's way of saying, "let's be friends."
>Jack Bauer makes onions cry.
>"Jack Bauer" is Arabic for "I'm screwed".
>Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
>When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
>G.I. Joe has Jack Bauer action figures.
>Jack Bauer's vanity plate reads: IKIL4CTU.
>Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
>Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
>Metallica lets Jack Bauer download all their songs off the internet for free.
>The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"
>Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
>If Jack Bauer lived next door to Kramer, Kramer would knock before entering.
>Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
>Jack Bauer is the reason Waldo is hiding.
>Jack Bauer can eat just one Lay's Potato Chip. Don't tell Jack what he can't do.
>As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg.
>On Jack Bauers Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependants.
>After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.
>Jack Bauer has no friends because as a child when he would play cops and robbers, the robbers would all be interrogated and killed
>There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.
>Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
>Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a terrorist.
>In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?

 

Severe Terror Alert Red. Would look great with tan interior.

 

Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours. My fav. one

 

I didn't get this one - The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"

 

^ What Would Jack Bauer Do?

as opposed to...

What Would Jesus Do?

 

YOU ARE KIDDING...> RIGHT?



"What Would Jack Bauer Do" =WWJBD

 

omfg

 

jack bauer knows victorias secret

......she's probably ugly

 

I think my head is going to mush... it's been a tough month....