Extended Eye Contact With A Stranger
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From: Northern Vergina
Extended Eye Contact With A Stranger
In my boring existence (and while I chow down on some Chick-fil-A) I would like to notify you of the EECWS system. This is a ranking and point system based on different types of eye contact you make with complete strangers in public. EECWS is currently at version 1.0 and was established this 21st day of September 2010.
At this point I kindly suggest you hit the back button on your browser if you are not interested in a long read. If you are a lady: EECWS does not apply to your soulless bag of flesh you call a person, but you may read on if you wish.
I have discovered various levels and importance of eye contact I make with the opposite sex whenever I am out in public. A majority of this happens in malls. I am not talking about eye contact with cashiers or people that work somewhere, I am referring to eye contact that you make with passers-by. It may not happen often to you, but if you are handsome gentlemen such as myself with a chiseled face that is graced with a perfect 5 o'clock shadow and the body of a Greek God - it happens quite a bit.
Some of it is completely innocent. You just happen to lock eyes with a girl and that's it, a complete coincidence. Some of it is purposeful. You look around and lock eyes with a girl that was already looking at you. Some of it is completely awesome. You lock eyes with a girl who has her arm around her man. Time stops, the gentle breeze lifts her silky dark hair away from her angelic face. Her blue eyes glisten with a warm comforting gaze as you both eyef**k the shit out of each other. Then she's gone, and her man likely bangs the crap out of her once they get home. While you sit in the murky glow of your computer screen back at home in your parent's basement masturbating to some strange $$$$$$, hunched over in a posture destroying position furiously bating to the point of climax.
There are many types of eye contact and I am proud to say the EECWS system can help you figure out exactly how much - or if at all - you can brag to your friends. You can also provide them with the amount of points you have accumulated and even try and beat their scores!! Let's begin.
Category 1 - 100 points. Category 1 eye contacts fit this scenario: You are walking in a public place, you make eye contact with a girl, it lasts more than 2 seconds. Done. The fact that this eye contact lasted more than the usual quick glance leads to the consideration that the girl *might* have been slightly interested in you. If I see a girl in public and she is ugly, ain't no way I am going to stare at her for more than a nanosecond - and it's the same for girls. This isn't necessarily one to brag about as it is pretty darn common, but you do receive points for it nonetheless.
Category 2 - 200 points. Category 2 eye contacts follow the guidelines for category 1, except the girl also smiles. Congratulations, it is confirmed she thinks you are cute or likes you or that tilted sideways hat and your gangster swagger are what she is looking for in a douchy guy like you. You are awarded 200 points, now go saunter down the road and thug it out gangsta.
Category 3 - 300 points. Now it get's more exciting. Category 3 eye contacts are with MILFs. It is truly awesome to make extended eye contact with MILFs. Whether she smiles or not does not matter, it's a f***ing MILF BRO!!! Enjoy your 300 points. And try not to think about the husband that shagged her to the point that she popped out a screaming baby and cleans up it's puke when it's sick.
Category 4 - 400 points. The double-take! Oh yes, these are extraordinary. You make that special eye contact. You look away from each other, then just before you pass each other it happens again! In some cases it may happen two or three times. You should probably just turn around, scoop her up, and marry her! Yayyyyyyy commitment!
Category 5 - 500 points. The whore. Eye contact with a girl that is with her bf/husband. Married/taken women should never be making eye contact like that. But the fact that she is risking it all just to look at you gains you 500 points. Now go make an indecent proposal you stunning chap.
Category 6 - 600 points. The uber whore. Same girl as category 5, but this bitch even smiles at you! How could she?! So bold, so risky, so....damn...awesome! A rarity indeed. Grats.
Category 7 - 1000 points. The alpha and omega. Let me draw the final category out for you in explicit detail. You're strolling down the mall doing your manly shopping. You just bought some power tools and you need to haul 2 tons of wood you just chopped down with your axe earlier in the day. Suddenly your spider senses tingle - MILF? With your heightened senses you spot a MILF in the distance. She's walking hand-in-hand with her hubby. Her Dolce bag hangs off her left arm as she takes off the Chanel glasses covering her liquid blue eyes and places them in the bag. She looks up and you lock gazes. Seconds seem like hours. She smirks at you and looks away. You continue your creepy gaze regardless as you both reach the point of passing. She looks again just before you pass each other and once more you're in an eden of eye contact. You feel a warmth, but it's not where you expected it...no...no...it's far from where you would expect it. The eye contact ends as you pass each other, you want to take a look over your shoulder but you're too concerned because you just jizzed...in...your pants! WTF BRO?! Still, clean yourself up and award yourself with 1000 points for you have obtained an alpha and omega!!!!
That's not all the categories though...you have to be careful.
Category 8 - negative 100 points. Homoerotic eye contact. You just locked gazes with Gary. He stops sipping from the straw of his skim mocha latte to say "hi thexy" in his lispy voice. You are overcome with a sense of bewilderment. Subtract 100 points you little homo!
Category 9 - negative 200 points. The jailbait. Chris Hansen will be waiting for you once you get to your car. Have seat over there and explain why the f*** you were staring at the high school girl with that unsightly bulge in your pants.
Category 10 - negative 300 points. The homo jailbait. For Christ's sake you really let that happen?! Fuuuuuhhhhhhh.....
Category 11 - negative 400 points. The granny. You were some how able to look past the wrinkly pale skin and crippled spine. You gazed at her as the blood pumped through her protruding green veins down her harms while she pushed her rocker chair forward and probably shat her depends. Ewwww.....
Category 12 - negative 500 points. Getting caught. You were on to a category 5-7 but her man caught you. Doh!
That's it! I hope you remember the EECWS system next time you are out in public scoping the chicks. Have fun!
*disclaimer* No gay or granny bashing was intended in this post. I am not responsible for any physical harm that may be inflicted upon you should you have a category 12.
At this point I kindly suggest you hit the back button on your browser if you are not interested in a long read. If you are a lady: EECWS does not apply to your soulless bag of flesh you call a person, but you may read on if you wish.
I have discovered various levels and importance of eye contact I make with the opposite sex whenever I am out in public. A majority of this happens in malls. I am not talking about eye contact with cashiers or people that work somewhere, I am referring to eye contact that you make with passers-by. It may not happen often to you, but if you are handsome gentlemen such as myself with a chiseled face that is graced with a perfect 5 o'clock shadow and the body of a Greek God - it happens quite a bit.
Some of it is completely innocent. You just happen to lock eyes with a girl and that's it, a complete coincidence. Some of it is purposeful. You look around and lock eyes with a girl that was already looking at you. Some of it is completely awesome. You lock eyes with a girl who has her arm around her man. Time stops, the gentle breeze lifts her silky dark hair away from her angelic face. Her blue eyes glisten with a warm comforting gaze as you both eyef**k the shit out of each other. Then she's gone, and her man likely bangs the crap out of her once they get home. While you sit in the murky glow of your computer screen back at home in your parent's basement masturbating to some strange $$$$$$, hunched over in a posture destroying position furiously bating to the point of climax.
There are many types of eye contact and I am proud to say the EECWS system can help you figure out exactly how much - or if at all - you can brag to your friends. You can also provide them with the amount of points you have accumulated and even try and beat their scores!! Let's begin.
Category 1 - 100 points. Category 1 eye contacts fit this scenario: You are walking in a public place, you make eye contact with a girl, it lasts more than 2 seconds. Done. The fact that this eye contact lasted more than the usual quick glance leads to the consideration that the girl *might* have been slightly interested in you. If I see a girl in public and she is ugly, ain't no way I am going to stare at her for more than a nanosecond - and it's the same for girls. This isn't necessarily one to brag about as it is pretty darn common, but you do receive points for it nonetheless.
Category 2 - 200 points. Category 2 eye contacts follow the guidelines for category 1, except the girl also smiles. Congratulations, it is confirmed she thinks you are cute or likes you or that tilted sideways hat and your gangster swagger are what she is looking for in a douchy guy like you. You are awarded 200 points, now go saunter down the road and thug it out gangsta.
Category 3 - 300 points. Now it get's more exciting. Category 3 eye contacts are with MILFs. It is truly awesome to make extended eye contact with MILFs. Whether she smiles or not does not matter, it's a f***ing MILF BRO!!! Enjoy your 300 points. And try not to think about the husband that shagged her to the point that she popped out a screaming baby and cleans up it's puke when it's sick.
Category 4 - 400 points. The double-take! Oh yes, these are extraordinary. You make that special eye contact. You look away from each other, then just before you pass each other it happens again! In some cases it may happen two or three times. You should probably just turn around, scoop her up, and marry her! Yayyyyyyy commitment!
Category 5 - 500 points. The whore. Eye contact with a girl that is with her bf/husband. Married/taken women should never be making eye contact like that. But the fact that she is risking it all just to look at you gains you 500 points. Now go make an indecent proposal you stunning chap.
Category 6 - 600 points. The uber whore. Same girl as category 5, but this bitch even smiles at you! How could she?! So bold, so risky, so....damn...awesome! A rarity indeed. Grats.
Category 7 - 1000 points. The alpha and omega. Let me draw the final category out for you in explicit detail. You're strolling down the mall doing your manly shopping. You just bought some power tools and you need to haul 2 tons of wood you just chopped down with your axe earlier in the day. Suddenly your spider senses tingle - MILF? With your heightened senses you spot a MILF in the distance. She's walking hand-in-hand with her hubby. Her Dolce bag hangs off her left arm as she takes off the Chanel glasses covering her liquid blue eyes and places them in the bag. She looks up and you lock gazes. Seconds seem like hours. She smirks at you and looks away. You continue your creepy gaze regardless as you both reach the point of passing. She looks again just before you pass each other and once more you're in an eden of eye contact. You feel a warmth, but it's not where you expected it...no...no...it's far from where you would expect it. The eye contact ends as you pass each other, you want to take a look over your shoulder but you're too concerned because you just jizzed...in...your pants! WTF BRO?! Still, clean yourself up and award yourself with 1000 points for you have obtained an alpha and omega!!!!
That's not all the categories though...you have to be careful.
Category 8 - negative 100 points. Homoerotic eye contact. You just locked gazes with Gary. He stops sipping from the straw of his skim mocha latte to say "hi thexy" in his lispy voice. You are overcome with a sense of bewilderment. Subtract 100 points you little homo!
Category 9 - negative 200 points. The jailbait. Chris Hansen will be waiting for you once you get to your car. Have seat over there and explain why the f*** you were staring at the high school girl with that unsightly bulge in your pants.
Category 10 - negative 300 points. The homo jailbait. For Christ's sake you really let that happen?! Fuuuuuhhhhhhh.....
Category 11 - negative 400 points. The granny. You were some how able to look past the wrinkly pale skin and crippled spine. You gazed at her as the blood pumped through her protruding green veins down her harms while she pushed her rocker chair forward and probably shat her depends. Ewwww.....
Category 12 - negative 500 points. Getting caught. You were on to a category 5-7 but her man caught you. Doh!
That's it! I hope you remember the EECWS system next time you are out in public scoping the chicks. Have fun!
*disclaimer* No gay or granny bashing was intended in this post. I am not responsible for any physical harm that may be inflicted upon you should you have a category 12.
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Registered User
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 690
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From: Long Beach
Cocaine is a hell of a drug....
lol Just kidding bro. I know exactly what you mean.
I think alot of girls just like to look around to see if any guys are checking them out .
For a cute girl or a pretty girl, she has to have a few guys staring at her to make sure she's looking good and doing her make up right , and her hair right at that time. So as a pitty thanks, she will smile at you for a split second, she might do it a few times , on and off cause shes blushing.
If you are a good looking dude, then she stare and smile at you constantly. By that time, it doesnt take a genius to know, she wants you.
lol Just kidding bro. I know exactly what you mean.
I think alot of girls just like to look around to see if any guys are checking them out .
For a cute girl or a pretty girl, she has to have a few guys staring at her to make sure she's looking good and doing her make up right , and her hair right at that time. So as a pitty thanks, she will smile at you for a split second, she might do it a few times , on and off cause shes blushing.
If you are a good looking dude, then she stare and smile at you constantly. By that time, it doesnt take a genius to know, she wants you.
Registered User
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 690
Likes: 0
From: Long Beach
Originally Posted by st4rk,Sep 21 2010, 05:43 PM
It may not happen often to you, but if you are handsome gentlemen such as myself with a chiseled face that is graced with a perfect 5 o'clock shadow and the body of a Greek God - it happens quite a bit.
lol i'm buzz right now, lol.
