funny stuff


jus thought id share


www.fmylife.com


Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

jus a few

 

Saw this last week.

 

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

 

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

 

Haha i was reading this just yesterday

 

FYI: a similar thread was closed earlier. I'm unsure of the reason. I thought it was kind of amusing, myself.

 

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "F*** you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

 

is this thing real? they all seem to be written in the exact same tone/style.

 

!

 

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can.