If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure English lovers.

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

 

Sounds like the best one to learn first. The others will come easy. Spanish has some instances where it is confusing but not to this extent. Having mastered English, other languages become confusing because they don't have the same mechanics. However, languages are a blast. If you are in sales and speak two languages, you can sell to twice as many people. 3 and so on. I can communicate in English, Okie, Hillbilly, Spanish, Mexican, Colombian, Italian and Portuguese. Love them all. Several root or mother tongues have many dialects. ie. English, Hillbilly, Southern, Northern, Coastal for sure! On the west coast people say "Knarly"! On the east coast they use "Wicked." " You got me straight trippin boo!" "You so ugly, yo momma musta been a gorilla!" Etc.

 

WOW, WOW, WOW! What is this I hear?

English is the easiest language to learn. If anyone thinks that this sort of linguistic idiosyncrasies are overwhelming in English, try French (if you are suicidal that is), and all the Slavic languages which are COMPLETELY different from all the Roman languages. I am Bulgarian but I pity anyone who might have to learn Bulgarian b/c there are so very few rules which actually apply... most things are "exceptions" to the rule. Words change from single to plural, we have male, female, and neutral genders (like most languages) and a whole lot of other crazy things that you cannot make sense out of. You have to memorize them as they are.

Compared to other languages, I think that English is the easiest to learn to write, spell (most of all spell), and speak.

 

Male and female are sexes, neutral is a gearshift position; masculine, feminine, and neuter are genders.

 

Thank you OLDMAN. I enjoyed your original thread.

 

[QUOTE]WOW, WOW, WOW! What is this I hear? English is the easiest language to learn.

I would have to agree. English is quite logical and simple. Yes, it has its idiosyncrasies, but not nearly as many as some other languages.

English is quite suitable for computer language for that same reason. The original thread is neat.

Cheers,
Daniel

 

I learned french. its crazy. Je me sens que je suis un becaise (sp?) quand je prend l'examen francais

and i prolly misspelled some of that too

 

How come they call a piano player a pianist but they don't call a race car driver a racist?

Sancho- I feel that I am a (becaise???) when I'm taken the french exam? What did you mean? I don't think that is a french word.

 

lol i feel like a bird brain (becaise... dunno how its spelled) when im taking the french test... im in 5-6 but im extremely lazy

 

"beh-casse"