Chicken Soup for the Alcoholic Soul....

Deep Thought

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the
beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look
into the glass and think about the workers in the
brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I
didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and
their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to
myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let
their dreams come true than be selfish and worry
about my liver."
---by Jack Handy

I would kill everyone in this room for a
drop of sweet, tasty beer.

--Homer Simpson


I feel sorry for people who don't drink.
When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as
they're going to feel all day.

--Frank Sinatra



The problem with some people is that when
they aren't drunk, they're sober.

--William Butler Yeats



An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk to spend time with his fools.

--Ernest Hemingway



Always do sober what you said you'd do
drunk. That will teach you to keep your
mouth shut.

--Ernest Hemingway



Time is never wasted when you're wasted all
the time.

--Catherine Zandonella



Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the
temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

--Ambrose Bierce



Reality is an illusion that occurs due to
lack of alcohol.

--Anonymous



Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to
pursue the one activity that truely gives me pleasure,
hooking up with fat, hairy girls.

-- Ross Levy



A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even
have the decency to thank her.

--W.C. Fields



What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the
cork to my lunch?

--W.C. Fields



When I read about the evils of drinking, I
gave up reading.

--Henny Youngman



Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of
life, so get wasted all of the time and
have the time of your life.

-- Michelle Mastrolacasa



I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
than a frontal lobotomy.

--Tom Waits


24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence?

--Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When
we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to
heaven!

-- Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have
a beer and an airline. It helps if you have
some kind of a football team, or some nuclear
weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

--Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out
of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

--Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us
to be happy.

--Benjamin Franklin


If you ever reach total enlightenment while
drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in
the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant
you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with
pizza.

--Dave Barry



The problem with the world is that everyone
is a few drinks behind.

--Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold?

So you can distinguish it from urine.

--David Moulton


Give me a woman who loves beer and I will
conquer the world.

--Kaiser Wilhelm


Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals
such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example,
there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.

--Dave Barry


All right, brain, I don't like you and you
don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get
back to killing you with beer.

--Homer Simpson

 

QUOTE
Time is neva wasted when your wasted all the time.
-catherine zandonela
Duuude i hope you were wasted when you wrote this cause i bet you wasted alot of time writing it!! sum sweet quotes man peace.

 

AMEN MY BROTHER!!