Growing up:

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were president what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

 

ibtl

 

 

BTW, you have to get three homeless guys before you can even start bidding on the work, and you're gonna give it to the one homeless guy that promises he'll do it for 35$, to which he takes you out for a $15 steak, and then he comes back and asks you for $200 for a custom mower.

After a 2 weeks, you go to the next homeless guy, and he says he'll do the job $195.

After 4 weeks, you go the 3rd homeless guy, who promises he can get you the custom mowers for $125 a pop. . . but the mowers are made in Myanmar, and you still don't have anyone to mow them. . . and they need a mix of corn oil and two stroke, which a fourth homeless guy is willing to sell you for $500.

 

HOW DARE YOU USE THAT NAME. WE HERE IN AMERICA REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT BURMA IS IN FACT CORRUPT BY THE ARMY!!!!

 

Did I miss something?

 

I think i missed something, why IBTL? no political stuff on off topic?

Got it in an email figured id share, guess not.

 

Yup I didnt read rules, altho i wouldnt call it political discussion kinda more of a joke that is truthfully funny, ah well #### it

 

I'd say it's fair, but my wife is a closet Democrat and I'm "undeclared".

I get a kick out of coworkers getting worked up over politics.

 

Burma is called Myanmar, but America refuses to accept this because the army took over the govn't and changed the name or something like that. I don't know the details, but i learned it in geography a couple weeks back ironically.