> 1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and
> eaten by his fellow partygoers.
>
> 2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
>
> 3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
> a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
> b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
> c. After wrecking your boss' car.
> d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
> e. When your Date is using her teeth
>
> 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
of
> jail within 12 hours.
>
> 5. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move:
> a. Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident
>
> 6. Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend of a friend move:
> a. You'd rather stay home and watch speed buggy reruns.
>
> 7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
> forever, unless you actually marry her.
>
> 8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running
late
> is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to
wait
> 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10
scale.
>
>
> 9. Bitching about the brand of free beer in a Mate's fridge is forbidden.
> Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>
>
> 10. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man
> (in fact, even remembering your Mate's birthday is strictly optional).
>
>
> 11. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
> weakest.
>
> 12. While your girlfriend must bond with your Mates' girlfriends within 30
> mins of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal
> pals'significant dick-heads--- low level sports bonding is all the law
> requires (sorry ladies, it's called a double standard and we drew the
> short straw on that one).
>
>
> 13. Unless you have signed a lucrative endorsement contract, do not appear
> in public wearing more than one swoosh.
>
> 14. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may
> always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask
>
> who's playing.
>
> 15. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her
> to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
> flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
>
>
> 16. It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're
> sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless
> supermodel...and it's free.
>
>
> 17. Only in situations of Moral and/or Ass peril are you allowed to kick
> another guy in the nuts.
>
> 18. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
> 19. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>
> 20. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see
nothin'.
>
> 21. Women who claim to "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
> until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink
>
> as much beer as the other sports watchers.
>
> 22. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a
> girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw
> it into a ceiling fan.
>
>
> 23. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
> sober enough to fight.
>
> 24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
> but not both. That's just plain mean.
>
> 25. If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about
> his choice of beer.
>
> 26. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a Mate of yours, except
> if she's withholding sex pending your response.
>
>
> 27. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
> a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
> d. Nice Ass, are you a Sagittarius?
>
> 28. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
both
> urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost
> imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
>
>
> 29. You cannot rat out a co-worker who shows up at work with a massive
> hangover You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger
> cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor
> is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.
>
>
> 30. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have
> carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that your feeling weird and guilty is
> no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big
> mistake it was.

 

To true, to true!!!