NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

worst day evah!!!

word to the wise... never masturbate in your living room

Havent seen my GF in like 3 months !!!!!

so I run home thinking nobody was there and fire up some poon tang on the big screen in the living room.

well I'm in the middle of a hot jack off session with my pants down and all. and guess who walks in???

my freaking dad and his girlfriend!!! OMFG!!!!!!!!!!

more details to come...

you know what the messed up thing is?

like if he shouted "hey what are you doing!!" and like started laughing like it would be cool or whatever but he made that shit extra awkward!!

he came in with his girlfriend pretty quietly, put the grocery bags on the kitchen table (all while I was in clear view!!, you cant miss poon on a bigscreen)

then they just silently walked past me and walked upstairs and didnt say SHIT, and they obviously saw me!!!

so shit is super awkward around my house now... you cant even imagine!!!

spent a little too much time at the urinal

some asshat that was in a stall says he saw me at the urinal jerking it (i was but screw him) then he started sending around an email and shit... i wish i knew who it was but whatever i denied the whole thing and i said some dumb bitch gave me chlymidia or some shit.

wow guys...

this is un-be-the-****-lieveable!!

I shit you not one of my dads co-workers showed him the link to this thread...

OMFG!

my dads co-worker is on a popular sports car forum and apparently this thread was linked over there too!

wow, shit spreads quick!

well needless to say I got a pretty long lecture... man o man is this come crazy shit!

HAHAHAHA so anyways...

I just found out my dads friends at work dont know its him so I can spill the beans...

lol I talked to my dads GF the other day and we were just sitting down and talking, when she told me that her and my dad were laughing at my sorry ass so hard that they had no idea what to say when they saw me standing in front of the TV with my bare asscheeks, my dad was contemplating throwing like a grapefruit at me to "break my train of thought" b/c they just went grocery shopping.

haha my dad is talking so much shit now... saying he wants to buy a new rug.

heres an e-mail my dad sent me recent.y

"WHAT the hell were you thinking? do you know how much of an ass you made yourself to be? I got freakin guys at work calling me and telling me to look at the thread that YOU created. Thank GOD they dont know its my son pulling his dick and posting about it on the internet, its one thing if you pull your little prick in your own room but WHY WHY WHY in the living room?!? WHY?!?!?WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?"

hahah then he told me I had no shame and asked if I masturbated in church too.

I'll paste more from the email later... gotta get back to work.

ok ok heres a little more

"SERIOUSLY.... are you sick?!?! me and **** were cracking up at first to think that you'd be stupid enough to pretend you were masturbating with your pants down in the living room but after a while we stopped laughing because we realized that you were DEAD serious! yes! my son was actualling playing with his penis on front of my television. And after reading your stupid car forums i now know that you got your "cream cheeze" or whatever you 80's babies call it all over my rug!!! I lay on that rug sometimes!!! what is wrong with you!??! is this some sick joke!?!?!"