Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired,
'Why the spoon?''
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.
After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.
'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.'
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice.
'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

 

 

nice

 

 

That joke has to be 25 years old at the least. I used to tell it with my dad as the restaurant customer (he died in 1983). A true classic.

 

 

very nice

 

ahaha...damn. Really made my day at work

Thanks!

 

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand
new BMW X6 popped over a hill and towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a Boss tie
leaned out of the window and asked the shepherd: "Hey, if I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looks at the guy, then at his peacefully grazing flock and
calmly answers "sure".

The guy hops out of his car, whips out his PC, opens up a database and 60
Excel spreadsheets with complex macros. He looks over the sheep and the land, and finally creates a 150 page PowerPoint report, turns to the shepherd and says: "You have exactly 1586 sheep!"

"That is correct, take one of the sheep" says the shepherd. He watches the
young man select one of the animals and put it in his BMW. Then the
shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give
me my sheep back?"

"Okay, why not" answers the young man.

"You are a consultant" says the shepherd.

"That is correct" says the young man, "I work for Anderson. How did you guess that?"

"Easy" answers the shepherd. "You turn up here although nobody called you.
You want to be paid for the answer to a question I already knew. And you
don't know shit about my business because you took my dog."

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

another great story added to my day.


thank you thank you