HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN AND STILL BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT!

He does not have a BEER GUT -
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER -
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME -
He investigates ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING -
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER -
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS -
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

He is not a SEX MACHINE -
He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG -
He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES -
He has an INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT -
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.