after 3 and half years of marriage, and due to certain mitigating circumstances surrounding my life, things don't seem to be working out very well at all. how do your wives deal with your mother (her mother-in-law)? i know the wife/mother-in-law relationships aren't always the most comfortable, but i'm in a bind and don't know how to get out. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

and for those who aren't married: make sure you tell your mom to shut her mouth if she ever has anything negative to say about your wife - "just shut up" is a good motto for your mother, and the same goes with her mother too.

 

I'm not married, but my mom never had a good relationship with my dad's mom. My parents are now divorced, and that was only a part of the problem.

 

I am pretty lucky, my wife gets on well with my Mother, though she is pretty chilled out, so no problem there. Though a previous ex had a mother that was totally loopy, and seeing her was enough to put me off any relationship.
My own mother-in-law is not too bad either, and lives a couple of hours away and won't come into London so it means we go to her, and only at most 3 or 4 times a year, I guess I got away lightly all round.

Good luck Mingster!

 

I'm not married either, but another of those "my mother never got on with my father's mother" types. I think you answered your own question. You need to have a quiet talk with your mother and ask her not to say anything critical of your wife - or even look critically at her. Mothers always want the best for their sons and can get a bit funny if the wife doesn't do things exactly as they would. The mother needs to learn to take a step back. That's my opinion anyway.

 

I was very fortunate. My wife and my mom got along amazingly well. My mom treated and considered my wife a daughter. There was never a rivalry or competion between them. My mom also knew that even though I would do anything for her, my wife came first. I think in-laws need to realize that when you marry you become part of a new family.

 

This is the step I took with my step-mother, my sister and my fiancee. Everyone mind your own god damn business and be nice in front of each other. If you have a complaint, file it with yourself. Because I don't want to get in the middle of it and I don't want to hear it.

 

Sounds like a difficult situation, Mingster. I think you are on to what the right thing is to do with the 'be quiet' suggestions.

My wife and my mother get along great. I am so blessed with a great wife. I would suggest to always defend your wife, and make sure that is the relationship worked on and given the priority. As the 'Good Book' says, "....leave his father and mother and be united to his wife..."

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Prolene
[B]Sounds like a difficult situation, Mingster.

 

My wife gets along with my mother better than she gets along with her own mother.

Tip: Do not, under any circumstances, take sides in a mother/daughter argument. They will BOTH turn on you and it will end up being "All your fault"

Duffer

 

In a word....Horrible

Never move in with you're parents...two women in the same house is deadly.

Its been 5 years since (and we only lived with them a month) and its just now starting to be acceptable, and it seems they both can become childish for some reason.

The worst part is you get stuck in the middle of these fights and its a no win for you always. Nothing gets worked out and you just have uncomfortable times.

You need to tell mom exactly what Mingster said...if you don't they will when their little boy seems mistreated and then its on.

I've actually had to cut my mother off due to some crap said until she said she was sorry...its hard but you've got to choose at some point I suppose.

I feel for ya..