Mathematics of Life.....
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Registered User
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,655
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From: stafford
Mathematics of Life.....
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
> Smart man + smart woman = romance,
> Smart man + dumb woman = affair,
> Dumb man + smart woman = marriage,
> Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy!
>
> OFFICE ARITHMETIC
> Smart boss + smart employee = profit,
> Smart boss + dumb employee = production,
> Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion,
> Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime.
>
> SHOPPING MATH
> A man will pay
> Smart man + smart woman = romance,
> Smart man + dumb woman = affair,
> Dumb man + smart woman = marriage,
> Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy!
>
> OFFICE ARITHMETIC
> Smart boss + smart employee = profit,
> Smart boss + dumb employee = production,
> Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion,
> Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime.
>
> SHOPPING MATH
> A man will pay
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 1,610
Likes: 0
From: Atlanta, GA
Originally posted by AnDy_PaNdY
>
> HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
> and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
> They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
> funerals
>
> HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
> and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
> They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
> funerals
ROFLMAO...morbid I know, but funny nonetheless.
Registered User
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 604
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From: Near Sandwich,
To carry on the theme of marriage and women and make my 100th post....
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
____________
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
____________
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
____________
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "what's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust!"
____________
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man
and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man
has rested.
____________
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
____________
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
____________
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
said "I haven't eaten anything in four days". "She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your will power".
____________
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
____________
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son".
____________
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing. "You can have
mine".
____________
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once.
____________
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."
____________
How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done
for free.
____________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
____________
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
____________
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married and then it was too late".
____________
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
____________
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
____________
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
____________
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "what's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust!"
____________
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man
and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man
has rested.
____________
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
____________
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
____________
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
said "I haven't eaten anything in four days". "She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your will power".
____________
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
____________
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son".
____________
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing. "You can have
mine".
____________
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once.
____________
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're real lucky, mine's still alive."
____________
How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done
for free.
____________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
____________
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
____________
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married and then it was too late".
____________
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!
