Monkey Joke.
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From: Kirkwood, MO
So this guy walks into a bar. But he's a little different than other people, he has a pet monkey. The guy walks up to the bartender and says "I'll take a bud light." Then the bartender says "That'll be two-...... Hey! Your monkey is eating all of the peanuts and our fruit. You need to get some control of him!" Right then you see the monkey jump on the pool table and grab a cue ball. Next thing you know the monkey drops it down his throat. Bartender yells "Holy Shit man! you need to get the monkey and yourself out of here." With resentment the two leave.
5 days later the pair return. The guy walks up to the bar and orders another beer. The bartender leans over and says "I'll let you order a beer if you have some control over your monkey." The guy agreed and said "fair enough". Right as the bartender reaches out with the beer he pulls it back and yells "There he goes again!" All of a sudden the monkey grabs a grape, put it in his ass, then eat it. The bartender looks in shock and says "That's a sick
in monkey! He jams food in his ass and then eats it?" The guy replies back to him "Ever since that cue ball, now he measures everything first before he eats it!"
5 days later the pair return. The guy walks up to the bar and orders another beer. The bartender leans over and says "I'll let you order a beer if you have some control over your monkey." The guy agreed and said "fair enough". Right as the bartender reaches out with the beer he pulls it back and yells "There he goes again!" All of a sudden the monkey grabs a grape, put it in his ass, then eat it. The bartender looks in shock and says "That's a sick
in monkey! He jams food in his ass and then eats it?" The guy replies back to him "Ever since that cue ball, now he measures everything first before he eats it!"
LOL! 
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