http://www.mercedsunstar.com/167/story/1203513.html



Don't try this at home -- or in jail.

An inmate at the Merced County Main Jail had a homemade knife surgically removed from his body cavity last month, according to Merced county Sheriff's officials.

He now faces concealed weapons charges.

The inmate, 19-year-old Rance Johnson, approached corrections officials Nov. 18, complaining about an item stuck inside his rectum, causing pain, according to Deputy Tom MacKenzie.

Even worse, Johnson told deputies the improvised weapon -- known in jailhouse slang as a "shank" -- had been inside his body for three weeks.

He was taken to an emergency room in Modesto, and the 5-inch-long plastic shank was surgically removed, MacKenzie said.

"The taxpayer money does cover actual stupidity; hence this guy did have to have this surgically removed," said Sheriff Mark Pazin. "It's unfortunate, but it's a mandated surgery."

MacKenzie said Johnson told investigators he had no idea what the item was, that he'd found it in an interview room and tried smuggling the weapon by inserting it into his rectum. The item was wrapped inside tissue paper and placed in a sandwich bag before it was inserted, MacKenzie said.

Johnson is being held at the jail on suspicion of shooting a 17-year-old male near Castle Airport in September.

In addition to the concealed weapons charges, Johnson is facing an enhancement for allegedly committing a crime while participating in a criminal street gang.

 

Now take the shit stained shank and stab him with it, 500 times.

 

Hence the problem with putting them in jail rather than lining them up against a wall and ridding society of the cancer.

 

. . . I'm gonna just in case.

 

Put it back in there and let him play "Don't Drop the Soap" with Bubba.

 

hahaha winner

But seriously, did he forget it was in there? And why would you wrap it up? And how did he not poop it out?