I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state
of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear.."You're just not in touch with my
emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a
man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed dept store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier"......

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

 

****ing awesome

 

oooooo, you are GETTING it tonight. haha

 

old, but funny

 

 

 

oh no you di-ent!!

 

an oldie but a goodie

 

 

LOL Thanks for the good laughs! I needed it today.