NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

Jack had a near death experience that changed his life forever. One day, Jack went
horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out
of control. He tried with all his might to hang on, but was thrown off.

Just when things could not possibly get worse, Jack's foot got caught up in the
stirrup. When this happened, he fell head first to the ground. His head continued
to bounce harder and harder, and the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just
as he was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came
out and unplugged it.

 

tsss... LOL

 

Teacher asks the class: "If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one off, how many are left?"

Little Johnny answers: "That's easy teacher, none."

Teacher: "How do you figure that?"

Little Johnny: "Cause if I shoot one, the others will fly away."

Teacher: "Well, no, that's not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny: "Teacher, I've got a question for you - if you see three women on a park bench, each with an ice cream cone, one is eating hers, the next is licking hers, and the last one is sucking hers, which woman is married?"

Teacher thinks for a minute and answers: "I guess the one who is sucking hers."

Little Johnny: "No, teacher, it's the one with the wedding band on, but I like the way you think!"

 

That was funnier. LOL