Off-topic Talk Where overpaid, underworked S2000 owners waste the worst part of their days before the drive home. This forum is for general chit chat and discussions not covered by the other off-topic forums.

"Order in the Court!"

Thread Tools
 
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 06:14 AM
  #1  
Dunk'sDad's Avatar
Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 926
Likes: 0
From: Nashville
Default "Order in the Court!"

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: You've got to be joking?

ATTORNEY: So the date of the baby
Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 06:50 AM
  #2  
thebig33tuna's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 32,283
Likes: 0
From: Cincinnati, OH
Default

some in there i hadn't heard before.
Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 07:05 AM
  #3  
KeithM's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 59,141
Likes: 1
From: Lost in the mountains
Default

Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 07:31 AM
  #4  
Quikie's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,866
Likes: 0
From: St. Louis, Mo
Default

well done sir
Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 07:35 AM
  #5  
GateCrasher's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 11,078
Likes: 0
From: Here
Default

Just made my morning! Thanks!!
Referring my lawyer friends to this thread!
Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 08:30 AM
  #6  
The Gasman's Avatar
Former Moderator
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 59,195
Likes: 1
From: Ventura, California, USA
Default

Last one is still my favorite.
Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 09:26 AM
  #7  
duboseq's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,581
Likes: 0
From: Tampa Florida
Default

Good stuff!
Reply

Trending Topics

Old Jul 9, 2009 | 11:28 AM
  #8  
stockae92's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,006
Likes: 0
From: socal
Default

stuff
Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 03:20 PM
  #9  
senor_flojo's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 11,074
Likes: 0
From: All up in your inner tubes. Whatcha gonna do sucka?
Default

https://www.s2ki.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=514222

and

https://www.s2ki.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=679767
Reply
Old Jul 9, 2009 | 04:25 PM
  #10  
AlX Boi's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,605
Likes: 4
From: Irvine, California
Default

Hope I don't have one of those mouth spasms when I become a lawyer.
Reply



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:55 PM.