Guy on cell: Hello?...What do you mean you have bad news?...You're pregnant? How could you be pregnant?...I thought you were on the Pill? How did this happen?!...I just got engaged to your sister on the 4th of July...This is really bad news...How long have you known?...A week?! Why did you wait a week to tell me?...Your sister is going to go through the roof...No, she doesn't come back until Monday...So, I'll see you tonight?...I told you, I just got engaged to your sister. You can't be pregnant...Okay, have a good afternoon.

He makes another call.

Guy on cell: Hey...You know Claire*?...Yeah, Lauren's* sister...Yeah, the hot one...Well, she's pregnant...Me!

Woman (sarcastically): I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch.
Man: Hmm...
Woman: You think I'm a bitch, don't you?
Man: I didn't say that.
Woman: You didn't disagree with me.
Man: You know yourself better than I do.
Woman: I can't believe you called me a bitch.
Man: I didn't call you a bitch, you called yourself a bitch.
Woman: But you didn't tell me I'm not a bitch.
Man: Because you're acting like a bitch.
Woman: See? You think I'm a bitch!
Man: I said you were acting like a bitch.
Woman: Whats the difference?
Man: Dustin Hoffman acted like a retard, but it doesn't mean he is one.
Woman: I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but you're a dick for thinking I'm a bitch.
Man: Do you mean I'm acting like a dick or I am a dick?
Woman: **** you! (storms out)
Man: Too easy. Caramel Macchiato please!

Designer: Here, just try it.
Writer: No.
Designer: Come on! Why are you being so stubborn?
Writer, shouting: I am not putting that in my mouth! It's all limp!

Pause.

Writer, shouting into hallway: I was talking about French fries!

Lifeguard on megaphone: Attention, beach-goers, due to the sunset, you must get out in 5 minutes or else we will turn the waves off.
Girl: Oh my God! Is he serious?!