Pre-BOOTY CALL Agreement <--- Extremely Useful
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Joined: Jul 2001
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From: Bay Area/LA
Pre-BOOTY CALL Agreement <--- Extremely Useful
I don't know why, but I keep running into some "amusing" things on the net. Enjoy. 
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This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement")
is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2002,
by_______________________, between ____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events
of
the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of
your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not
friends,
just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind
when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get
dressed and go the **** home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye
contact the better.
19. No condoms, no ****ing. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for
your
ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of
this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will
then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST
and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will
be
BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the
rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement")
is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2002,
by_______________________, between ____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it
in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events
of
the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do
you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup,"
unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of
your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not
friends,
just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind
when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get
dressed and go the **** home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My
roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye
contact the better.
19. No condoms, no ****ing. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for
your
ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the
agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of
this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will
then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST
and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will
be
BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the
rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
