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Science explains HELL!

Old Feb 10, 2010 | 03:12 AM
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Default Science explains HELL!

Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Answer:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
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Old Feb 10, 2010 | 05:07 AM
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lol 8/10!!
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Old Feb 10, 2010 | 07:15 AM
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LOL 7/10
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Old Feb 10, 2010 | 07:41 AM
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Loved it!
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Old Feb 10, 2010 | 08:11 AM
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8/10
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Old Feb 10, 2010 | 08:12 AM
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I liked the religion part. Thats exactly how I feel.
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Old Feb 10, 2010 | 08:42 AM
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10/10 classic!
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Old Feb 10, 2010 | 09:35 AM
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Quite original way to let the public be aware of your badassness


edit: oh ya, 9/10
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Old Feb 11, 2010 | 05:45 AM
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Old joke, but still funny
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Old Feb 12, 2010 | 11:55 AM
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Did you write all that cause u couldn't think of a way to say I banged the hottest girl in my graduating class last night?
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