scrub.....

 

It was a middle aged woman in a brand new range rover. I was going 67 in a 65 in the far left lane. I was passing everyone in the two lanes to my right, thus me being in the left lane was warranted. Well here comes this boss hoggin suv on my ass, flashing her brights, turning on her turn signals and telling me to move over. Me, being the piece of shit human being that I am, slow down accordingly. She fly's by me in the far right lane because a gap opened then looked back at me and was mouthing shit. I safely downshift, and get on her ass halfway in the shoulder so I could see her in her sideview. I was mouthing swear words and flipping her off for about 10 miles. Then I got in front of her, slowed down...and pretty much harassed her for about 15 minutes. I think she was about to cry.

If this was your mother, tell that bitch of a woman to stop acting so hard in her suv unless she's going to get out and throw down. She's lucky I just cleaned out my cup holder...I had lots of coins in there a week ago that would have blended in nicely with her front bumper.

She did receive a complemetary marlboro No. 27 to her windshield, though.

 

I will not move for you. I don't know you. I don't care about you. I don't owe you anything. Why would I do you a favor? I'm not a nice person and I know it. I'm not courteous and I know it.

 

There was a truck directly to my right that was going slightly slower than me. Unless I wanted to hit it, I couldn't move over anyway. She was being a bitch, so I decided to slow down to piss her off more.

If she was in an emergency situation she would have had her flashers on.

2 miles over the speed limit my ass, like I've said before, I'm not moving for anybody. If you have a problem with the speed I'm going it's on YOU to move, not me.

 

do you guys save this stuff on notepad or something?

 

I don't like you.

 

send her a bag of skittles.

 

The shower at my gym has no curtains. It's just a room with shower heads. After a long workout I just want to get clean and go home to all my hot girlfriends, but it's so time consuming to explain to grown men how my paynis got so big.

I also blow my nose and piss in the shower. I think you should too. It's called multi tasking.

 

I have no idea what's going on....

 

It's best to keep it that way.