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So I went to the Acupuncturist today...

Old Jun 10, 2004 | 01:36 PM
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Default So I went to the Acupuncturist today...

The only modality known to man that hasn't been tried on my neck. I've saved the most amusing for last thinking if nothing else, I'll die laughing.

Today was the initial exam. Its not like a regular medical exam. Its a game of twenty questions like "Tell me about your relationship with your father. What's the first thing you rember being afraid of? How would I know if you're angry? How many Chinese does it take to light a stick of incense?" When I got through answering the 20th question, the acupuncturist looked like my answers were the most upsetting thing she had ever heard. She was speachless. Not a good sign. On her way out of the room she said she needed to review her notes. I could swear I heard her crying in the hall.

Upon her return she announced it was time for her to take my pulse. She stated that she wasn't feeling for a pulse like a medical doctor would. She was feeling my wrist to tell if my bowels were working. She said "We take your pulse a lot in treatment." So I'm thinking just what effect is this 'treatement' going to have on me? Apparently my "pulse" was OK because she moved on to feel my abdomen. After poking around she then took the pulse of my belly button. I didn't ask why.

Finally it was time to stick me. I thought she'd carefully place needles in the area of my neck. Silly me. She put one needle in each wrist, turned the lights out, said "Don't move" and left the room....for 30 minutes. Unfortunately she also left a fan blowing over naked me and I was starting to get a little chilly. When she finally returned my lips were turning blue. She removed the needles and said "Stare me in the eyes until I look away." Darts were coming out of my eyes and she sensed it.

The last thing she did was smell me. Upper back and lower back. I asked her if I smelled like Irish Spring and she said no, that she wasn't necessarily smelling for an oder. She's been specially trained you see.

"That will be $120.00 and I've made an appointment with you for next Tuesday. I'll be doing AE treatment on you then. It stands for Agressive Energy. Its a way of purging bad energy from you so the real treatment will stick." I thought, man if I only HAD a stick....

Her diagnosis; We all live in five Elements that relate to nature and should be in balance. My Fire Element (which is the mother of Earth Element) isn't feeding my Earth Element sufficiently. In short, my Chi isn't flowing. My neck hurts because I'm backed up.

The good news is that future "treatments" will only cost $65.00 each. The number of treatments and exactly what is to be treated are yet to be determined.

I'll give you an update next week.
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 01:44 PM
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Sounds like the only pain that went away was the therapists debt.
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 01:48 PM
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If your neck is hurting...

there is only one prescription


NOTE: Cowbell is usually used to treat a fever, actual results may vary.
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 01:58 PM
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My trip to the accupuncturist was similar except, now I'm incontinent ....but at least I have a full head of hair from the treatments.
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 02:09 PM
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What exactly is your neck ailment? What are the symtoms?

Jamie
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 02:21 PM
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Great. Now I have a crick in my neck from laughing and pointing at the screen. Guess my Earth element doesn't think it's all that funny.

Edit: Sorry your neck hurts...hope something helps!
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 03:18 PM
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Thanks for that! I have considered seeing an acupuncturist for various nagging pain, but after reading this, I think I'll stick to massage therapy!
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 08:16 PM
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Sounds like you got hosed. My wife had tried everything for her shingles and the normal doctors had either completly misdiagnosed it or had no answers.

She finally went to an Acupuncturist when she started suffering nerve damage and lost feeling in her arm. The needle thing cured her within a week or two. She swears by it now.
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Old Jun 10, 2004 | 09:32 PM
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Some eastern medicines (or treatments) work for some people, but for others, they're useless. Just one of the mysteries.
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Old Jun 11, 2004 | 06:13 AM
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Hmmm, wonder if it's a treatment of the MIND instead of the BODY.

Poor MyBad. It's that Wilmington living that has you SOFT.
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