What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?
Annette.

Why didn't the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn't chicken.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
Because it's two tired.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

If a clock is still hungry does it go back four seconds?

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.

Did you hear about the man who lost his left side?
He's all right now.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

Wow, a bit painful, but I like them.

 

Haha.

 

nice I chuckled a bit. Thank You