Someone sent me this as a forward

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

************************************************** ***********

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding
items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled
for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a
television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, so I figured this was the most
legal evil thing I could do to him."

************************************************** ***********

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how
you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the
hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

************************************************** ***********

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that
husbands and wives know the things that are important to each
other."

He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's
favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
Pillsbury, isn't it?"

The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop
right here.

************************************************** ***********

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down
the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him
if she can help him. He answers that he is looking
for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him
down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he
deposits a huge bag of cotton balls
and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking
for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I
sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of
cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo
much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own
........ so does she."


(Of course . . . I figure this guy is the one on the
milk carton :-)

************************************************** ***********

WIFE VS. HUSBAND!

A couple drove down a country road for several
miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had
led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of
mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

************************************************** ***********

A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men ..."

he husband then turned to his wife and asked,
"What?"

************************************************** ***********

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how
you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the
same time."

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God
made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

************************************************** ***********>

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get
our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is
your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several
pages, that it indeed says....


"HEBREWS"

 

 

Funny, thanks

 

Thanks..needed a little laugh today