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Southernerisms

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Old Mar 24, 2010 | 01:25 PM
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Default Southernerisms

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE” them, you "PITCH" them.

2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger,” a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.


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Old Mar 24, 2010 | 01:52 PM
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Only a true southerner knows how much a "shitload" really is.
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Old Mar 24, 2010 | 07:07 PM
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hell i'm from SOUTH louisiana, and don't know what half that shit means, y'all damn yankees
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Old Mar 24, 2010 | 08:07 PM
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^from what I understand you may be on the wrong side of the Mississippi and may not apply to you as you are not Southerner by like NY standards....

However I am from Texas and some of those things apply. Then again Texas is a whole other country.
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Old Mar 24, 2010 | 08:36 PM
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<-- true southerner. good post.
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Old Mar 24, 2010 | 08:53 PM
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<--- definitely NOT a true southerner (or even an untrue one at that i suppose)!
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Old Mar 24, 2010 | 09:07 PM
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I'm from "Southern" California, and I don't know any of that crap.


You damn Yankees



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Old Mar 25, 2010 | 04:17 AM
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Originally Posted by akai6,Mar 24 2010, 10:07 PM
However I am from Texas and some of those things apply. Then again Texas is a whole other country.
Amen!
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Old Mar 25, 2010 | 04:23 AM
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I'm a true southerner that has worked all over the country and some of those are very true. I do make friends while standing in line. I never find that I'm related to people.
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Old Mar 25, 2010 | 05:44 AM
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I don't eat grits. But other than that... yeah.
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