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Speaking of Oakland

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Old Jan 6, 2009 | 12:12 PM
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Default Speaking of Oakland

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Oakland Raiders. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl victory. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Iraq. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window from 80 yards away. Then he threw another from 50 yards down a chimney, and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour. I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings the young Afghan to the States and teaches him the great game of football and sure enough the Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl! The young Afghan is hailed as a hero of football, and when the Coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us." "Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the greatest sporting event in the world!" "No! Let me tell you," his mother retorts. "at this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get assaulted!" The old lady pauses, then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Oakland."
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Old Jan 6, 2009 | 12:16 PM
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Old...but still funny.
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Old Jan 6, 2009 | 12:16 PM
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lol that was pretty good
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Old Jan 6, 2009 | 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by GPMike' date='Jan 6 2009, 01:16 PM
Old...but still funny.
I concur
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Old Jan 6, 2009 | 12:47 PM
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Good old Oaktown, where even the KFC's have bulletproof glass.
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Old Jan 11, 2009 | 12:22 PM
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Old Jan 11, 2009 | 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by The Raptor' date='Jan 6 2009, 01:12 PM
... Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Iraq. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm...
I don't get it. How did the coach knew by looking at his TV an Afghan soldier was fighting in Iraq.
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Old Jan 11, 2009 | 07:48 PM
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Funny and very true.
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Old Jan 11, 2009 | 11:35 PM
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Originally Posted by S2020' date='Jan 11 2009, 05:45 PM
I don't get it. How did the coach knew by looking at his TV an Afghan soldier was fighting in Iraq.
Mujahideen fight anywhere and everywhere against the infidel. You think its just Iraqis in Iraq fighting? There might be some right next door to you....you just don't know it until they let you know, which by then you might be a dead kafir.
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Old Jan 12, 2009 | 07:05 AM
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