im in need advice from those who've been through the whole love ordeal and have made it.

i've been good friends with this girl since we started college. i had a girlfriend back then, but she's always been one of my closests friends. now it's three years later, and i'm soon approaching my last year of college. up until the beginning of my junior year, we were just having fun hanging out together w/ our friends. i always knew one day if i didn't say something, she'd find someone else. little did i know she'd get together with a fruitcake of a boyfriend that she's with. when the fall semester began, she hooked up with some guy (let's just say he's not exactly the brightest of them all, not really a looker, and has the personality of an ass). she decided it would be a good idea for her to drop in and visit me with him, but she didn't call ahead. normally i'd be happy to see her, but the circumstances didn't really bring smile to my face. in any case, i happened to be heading down the stairwell to go out when i saw her holding his hand. my roommate was with me and he saw it as well. as soon as she looked up and saw us, she dropped his hand and introduced him as a friend. after that, things got rough. i didn't talk to her for about 6 months.

fastforward a bit:
just a few weeks ago, i decide i'd give her a call. her friends kept telling me that she always talks about how she misses me. when i called we talked for a while. i knew that it'd be hard to still be friends with her knowing that she's still seeing some jerkoff. but i thought i'd talk to her a little about that, but before i could, she tells me she broke up with him. of course this comes as a pleasant surprise to me. i finished my final exams this spring semester with the possibility of hanging out with her more often lingering in my mind. needless to say, i was too quick to celebrate. she recently got back together with him.

stick around or move on? i'm bummed. not even Ariel (the S) brings a smile to my face right now.

thanks in advance. take care.

rich

 

I don't understand what you expect ... if you don't make a move then what do you expect? and how are you sticking around if you don't make a move?
either way make a move on her and if she rejects you then move on and consider it closed unless she opens it up again?
I can understand how it bums you out though and I do believe you care a lot for her, so you should just make that clear.
I wouldn't burn the bridge either way though, just let her know and then move on and keep her as a friend.
I'm sure there'll be lots of people that will give other comments.
plus you can get back to having a smile on your face that way, and the more she sees you confidant and having fun the more attractive you will probably be to her.
g'luck.

 

Go for it, if it works fine, if it doesn't, you tried. You can move on. If you do nothing you'll be wondering for a long time if it would have worked out.

 

Well if you two are not as close as before, then I say go for it man you have nothing to lose. But if the friendship is still as strong as it was then you have a big issue in your hands. I have no advise for this situation but I would suggest that you think about it before risking the friendship you have with her. You have to find out how strongly she feel for him and if there's room for you to make a move.
Hey good luck man.

 

Sounds as if you two have something going on, an attraction or chemistry- otherwise she wouldn't have introduced your less than worthy opponent as a friend, and dropped his hand when you met him. However, its tough to bust a move now if he's her BF, in her eyes.
How important your friendship is to you, and how strong determines alot-
So the options, as I see them are:
Wait it out (odds are they'll break up again, if they did it once- is she the type that needs a bf around?), but make a move when the coast is clear
Let her know how you feel about her now, but realize that she may reject you given her current relationship- when if she weren't dating someone she'd be more open to seeing what happens with you
or c, keeping in touch, not worrying about it now, and following your instincts and her signals
Are you both in the bay area for the summer? Can you do casual stuff like play tennis or go fo a hike (or a drive- chicks love the s )
Good luck, and remember that whatever happens, it's unlikely that you'll meet your match in the next year or two- relax, and have fun!

 

stop trying to get courage from the board, either do it or just move on and forget it.

i think the better question is, what kind of friend are you? you say you were close, but then you stop talking to her for 6 months because you didn't like the dude she was dating?

were you her friend or a possessive non-boyfriend?

 

DEFINITELY SPEAK up man.. DEFINITELY... thats almost the same EXACT situation i went through with my bestfriend who is now my GF... just think of it like this, if you move on, you'll always either regret "not" telling her your true feelings, or you will always wonder "what if" i told her what "would have" happened.... now... on the other end.. if you pursued it... just telling her how you REALLY feel about her and the other dude, might change her feelings too... maybe shes only with him because she thought she would never be with you.. ? perhaps? you'll never know until you bust it out man... WORSE CASE SCENARIO... she is too far into the relationship with the other guy, and then you move on.. but coming from personal experience... you definitely gotta ACT FAST... and call her now.. and dont tell her this over the phone... you gotta meet up with her only and tell her... or if your not the confrontation-type... write a letter?

 

thanks for the advice guys and the kick in the pants. it's easier to think straight when you get some objective views on these types of things. ill go hang out with her this weekend and try to catch up on times. ill let you guys know how it goes.

thanks again,

rich

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by SECRET AP1
[B]thanks for the advice guys and the kick in the pants. it's easier to think straight when you get some objective views on these types of things. ill go hang out with her this weekend and try to catch up on times. ill let you guys know how it goes.

 

Those of us with boring lives will be waiting impatiently to hear how it goes!