1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss: The Pope only expects you
To kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled, and
that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that
he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen, just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. Definition of a teenager: God's punishment for enjoying sex.

12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

 

I didn't read your post .. but I had to reply since there were no replies at all so far ..

BUT I see that you are a USC fan .. so GO TROJANS

 

Anyway, . Now that's more like it.

 

FIGHT ON!!!!!

 

nah screw the trojans, GO DUREX