JettaGT

Hey all

About one and a half years ago my dad passed away. He had been living with his girlfriend for about 5 years. She has been very good with respect to working with me in seperating phone lines, providing financial documents, etc. We have always agreed that when I had time, and cared enough, I would come over and grab certain things that were my Dads'. Well, I went last week to discuss something unrelated and mentioned getting some paintings and antiques given to my dad by my grandparents. Surprise, Surprise, she is hesitant about giving certain things up...like a painting that has been in my family for 2 generations. She is not unreasonable, so im not convinced all is lost...i think she was taken off guard and became defensive...

I wrote this letter and plan on sending it...any thoughts from you guys

I hope I did not catch you off guard with respect to my request to remove some of Dads

skibum

This topic sounds familiar.

JettaGT

i posted about it a while ago before i actually talked to her about the specific things i wanted to take and when (this weekend)

vader1

I would change a couple things personally.

First paragraph, just fine.

Second paragraph I think I would leave out the physical nature of the relationship. I can't figure out what that adds and could be offensive.

Third paragrah, am I misunderstanding or are you talking about the home itself you believe you have a right to or just a couple personal items? If the house itself is somehow under consideration, get a lawyer. If its personal things then nevermind ask away.

Last paragraph, I don't get the magazines part but maybe this is some inside stuff.

Overall it is not too bad but I myself would approach it a little differently. I would keep a lot but just make the simple point that you respect the connection they had toegether but had a connection with him too and would like a couple keepsakes that have meaning. If you did lots of projects with your dad, the tools have sentimental value, maybe your brother got to share a cigar with dad once in a while. Most people won't object to that but I would be shorter and to the point because the more you say can hurt you if taken the wrong way. I think your point about the lithographs is good but I don't know about the intent to "take" things should be expressed. And I don't know if you have a LONG list of things you want, or its just what you mentioned. Keeping it to things that have real emotional importance helps. Just make it short and sweet, we used to share these thing when we spent time with our dad, does it bother you if we were able to keep them?


I had an uncle who dies of cancer at a very young age. He collected lionel (sp?) trains with his girlfriend and they went to lots of shows together. He had about $30k worth of collectables. My brother and I knew that this was something they did together and that they probably had sentimental value to her as well but asked if we could each have one train car that we could mount on a piece of track to remember him by, we were his only nephews. We said they did not have to be the really nice collectables as he had a couple hundred pieces and many were not really in collectable shape, just a couple scratched up crappy ones would be great. She agreed and said she would pick out a couple. Then before she did this she took them all to a collectors show and sold every last one to cash out. Nice.

JettaGT

1. No right to the home so hopefully no need for lawyer
2. He had a playboy subscription since the 70's until he died.
3. I was worried about going into too much detail. So I will take your advice to heart there.
4. With respect to the lionel trains. My dad collected dickens houses and had always bought three of each for each of my brothers and me. she has said "oh come pick them up...i just have to sort through them first". hmm...im hoping we can do something similar to what you tried...except not sell them
5. Thanks again for the input

Vanishing Point

Hope the letter route works for you, this is a civil matter otherwise.