A woman came home and heard a hmmmmmmmmm sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. She opened the bedroom door and found her daughter with a vibrator. "What are you doing?"" she asked. Her daughter replied "I'm 30 years old and I've never had a date. This is my husband!" The woman was horrified. When her husband came home from work she told him and asked "What are we going to do?" "I don't know, pray a lot" her husband replied. That Sunday she went to church and prayed for her daughter. When she came home, she again heard the hmmmmmmmmmm sound, only now it was coming from the den. She went to the den and found her husband sitting in front of the TV with the vibrator. "What are you doing?" she skreetched. He replied "I'm watching the Rams game with my son-in-law."

 

Wasn't this posted last week?

 

Beats me. Maybe I'm losing it. you know what they say -- short term memory is the second thing to go.

 

I'm pretty sure it was.

 

Im pretty sure people have heard this one but i like it.....


One day a mom was cleaning her 16 year old sons room and found a S&M mag under the bed. When she opened it she was shocked and mortified to see pictures of people getting whipped and tied up. As soon as her husband came home she immediately showed him the magazine and asked him what he was going to about their son. He looked at the magazine and replyed " Well I sure as hell aint going to spank him."

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by aznpooky
[B]Im pretty sure people have heard this one but i like it.....


One day a mom was cleaning her 16 year old sons room and found a S&M mag under the bed.

 

Ok, how about this one. Young guy is getting married. Night before, has bachelor party, gets stinko drunk, runs his car off the road and into a ditch and totals it. (Must be a Camaro, people do things like that to Camaros.) When he comes to in the emergency room, the physician says " You're pretty lucky. Other than a few bumps and bruises, all you did is break your d*ck. We're going to have to put it in a splint." The guy says:" No, no, I'm getting married tomorrow and going on my honeymoon." The doctor insists and wraps adhesive tape around four tongue depressors. Next day he gets married and he and his bride fly to Maui for their honeymoon. In the hotel room that night they're tired, it's been a long day. They're getting ready for bed. His beautiful, virginal bride pulls down her top and says "See, these breasts, untouched by male eyes." Then she pulls her pants down and says: "See that, unseen by male eyes." So he pulls his pants down and says "See that, still in the crate."

 

Correction: "See these breasts, untouched by male HANDS."

 

I posted the vibrator joke a week or so back.

 

Ivs2k-

Thanks. At least I didn't post it, forget about it, and post it again. Maybe there is hope and I'm really not losing it. (Probably still up in the air though.)