FINE

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we
are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how
a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so
I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care".
You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed
by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement
very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an
idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of
the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your
best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH

This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me
get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last
night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the
nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done
tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to
you for at least 2 days. Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies
that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it,
or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable
that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to
a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's
Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a
raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has
plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the
truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A
Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have
hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she
will only tell you "Nothing".

 

Stuff travels over the Internet so fast. My girlfriend emailed this to me this morning.

Oh and by the way, nice loss to Tampa last night. We are only two back and climbing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO YANKEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Sorry about Pedro!!!!!!

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mjcohen
[B]Oh and by the way, nice loss to Tampa last night.

 

Yeah, exactly, you guys are 11-1 against Tampa.

We are 2-1 against Tampa and only 2 games back. We get to play Tampa 4 times this weekend and then 12 more times after that. We'll see who is on top when the schedule evens out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO YANKEES 4 in a row, 5 out of 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

 

We are just happy to do all we can to help your teams out. Just wait till our kids get some experience and we get rid of the idiots who run the team. We got rid of one, and a couple more to go.

Don

 

How 'bout: Just be quite; let her talk; you'll win in the end! I realized this after twenty-five years of marriage.

 

You forgot the most anoying word in the female vocabulary.
W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R

 

lvs2k,

I also have 25 years of "experience" in this area. Silence is worth a thousand words when it comes to marital disputes!

Don H,

No offense intended! I truly hope the Devil Rays win 10 in a row starting tomorrow night!

 

Don H,

No offense intended! I truly hope the Devil Rays win 10 in a row starting tomorrow night! [/B][/QUOTE]

None taken. We know the Rays are pretty bad right. Playing a lot of young kids. Benching and dumping a lot of vets. Building for the future. We see better days ahead.

Don

 

None taken. We know the Rays are pretty bad right. Playing a lot of young kids. Benching and dumping a lot of vets. Building for the future. We see better days ahead.

Don [/B][/QUOTE]

Actually, the Rays have some pretty good starting pitching!

Looks like that are going to beat the Sox tonight too.

Hal, the manager, has to go. He doesn't seem to know how to handle a young club that needs a lot of work.