What every man needs -- except DaRKCrow
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Joined: Jul 2001
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From: La Crescenta, CA
What every man needs -- except DaRKCrow
This is a true story. recently, DaRKCrow was out of town on business. Looking at himself in the mirror (something he really likes to do), he thought "I really need a haircut. I better take care of this before my big meeting today. He asked the hotell concierge if there were a barber on the premises. The concierge replied "No, but if you walk down that arcade, you'll find an automatic haircut machine."
Intriuged, DaRKCrow walked down the arcade until he came across a machine with a head-sized hole in it with a sign that read "Automatic Haircut -- $5." He put $5 in the slot and stuck his head in the hole. Little snippers trimmed his hair. A jet of warm air blew away the loose hair. A little mechanical arm with a comb combed his hair. DaRKCrow pulled his head out. A little mirror flipped down. Best haircut DaRKCrow ever had in his life.
He continued down the arcade until he came upon another machine with a hole in the bottom of it and a sign: "Automatic shoeshine -- $2." DaRKCrow put $2 in the slot and stuck his shoes in the hole. A mechanical arm with an applicator applied polish. Little high speed buffing brushes shined his shoes. He pulled his shoes out. Best shoeshine he'd ever had in his life. He could see his face reflected in his shoes.
DaRKCrow continued down the arcade. until he came upon another machine with a waist-sized hole in it and a sign that read "What every man needs when he is away from his wife or significant other." DaRKCrow thought "Now this is getting interesting." He looked around, saw no one, unzipped his fly, stuck his manhood in the hole, put $5 in the slot, and let out a horrendous, horrendous blood-curdling scream. 20 seconds later, the machine released DaRKCrow's manhood........with a button sewn on it!
Intriuged, DaRKCrow walked down the arcade until he came across a machine with a head-sized hole in it with a sign that read "Automatic Haircut -- $5." He put $5 in the slot and stuck his head in the hole. Little snippers trimmed his hair. A jet of warm air blew away the loose hair. A little mechanical arm with a comb combed his hair. DaRKCrow pulled his head out. A little mirror flipped down. Best haircut DaRKCrow ever had in his life.
He continued down the arcade until he came upon another machine with a hole in the bottom of it and a sign: "Automatic shoeshine -- $2." DaRKCrow put $2 in the slot and stuck his shoes in the hole. A mechanical arm with an applicator applied polish. Little high speed buffing brushes shined his shoes. He pulled his shoes out. Best shoeshine he'd ever had in his life. He could see his face reflected in his shoes.
DaRKCrow continued down the arcade. until he came upon another machine with a waist-sized hole in it and a sign that read "What every man needs when he is away from his wife or significant other." DaRKCrow thought "Now this is getting interesting." He looked around, saw no one, unzipped his fly, stuck his manhood in the hole, put $5 in the slot, and let out a horrendous, horrendous blood-curdling scream. 20 seconds later, the machine released DaRKCrow's manhood........with a button sewn on it!
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