I can't get the pictures to work. anyway



Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater Columbus market:





" Dublin/Powell Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only on the square in Dublin or Powell . She comes with an

assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey

and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face

lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.



"Hilliard Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan

and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.

Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.





" Whitehall Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a

Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only

available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable

bills) .unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.







" New Albany Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.

Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also

available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to

afford any of them.





" Reynoldsburg Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too

small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud

light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's

butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag

bumper sticker absolutely free.







" Grove City Barbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own

high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Grove City

Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a

see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.





" Grandview Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,

arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her

Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Grandview Barbies

and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.





" Columbus Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories

include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very

difficult to find since the addition of the infant.



" German Village Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply

adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

 

A man goes into a toy store to buy a birthday present for his daughter. He looks around a while then strikes up a conversation with the owner.

Shopper: I see you have Nurse Barbie for $39.95; Doctor Barbie for $39.95; Lawyer Barbie for $39.95, etc. I'd like to know about the Barbie on the top shelf priced at $399.95.

Shopkeeper: Oh, that's Divorcee Barbie. She comes with Ken's house, car, and boat.

 

That sounds more like Delaware Barbie

 

"Marysville Barbie"

Is missing most of her teeth but drives an new Accord because Ken works at Honda and gets a discount.

She works out at the Marysville YMCA to stay in shape but chain smokes while she's on the treadmill,talking at the same time on her Nextel cell phone

"chirp".......wadda the hell you say? ......"chirp"

then drives accross the street to Applebees to pound down $1 Bud lights at happy hour

 

Wow, that's pretty detailed. Got pics?

 

I thought he was describing himself

 

 

and this is exactly how his doll would positioned in the box

 

 

hehe that pic will forever haunt him :muhahaha: