PDX Joke List
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,106
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From: PNW
PDX Joke List
Just thought I would start this thread to share some jokes with ya'll.
Maybe 1 per post and Im going to pace it... But please add yours!!!
Maybe you losers attempting to reach 1000 posts can whore this thread.
**Use rascism at your own discretion**
Todays joke:
An elderly couple was attending church services, and about halfway through the lady leans over and says to her husband, "I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
Maybe 1 per post and Im going to pace it... But please add yours!!!
Maybe you losers attempting to reach 1000 posts can whore this thread.
**Use rascism at your own discretion**
Todays joke:
An elderly couple was attending church services, and about halfway through the lady leans over and says to her husband, "I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,106
Likes: 2
From: PNW
Okay, fine... One more for right now.
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that he needs to buy his daughter a Birthday present. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:
Work out Barbie for $19.95
Shopping Barbie for $19.95
Beach Barbie for $19.95
Disco Barbie for $19.95
Divorced Barbie for $265.95"
The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
The salesperson annoyingly answers: "Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture, Ken's computer, Ken's dog and cat, Ken's wine collection and... one of Ken's friends."
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he remembers that he needs to buy his daughter a Birthday present. He pulls over to a toy store and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie in the display window?"
The salesperson answers, "Which one? We have:
Work out Barbie for $19.95
Shopping Barbie for $19.95
Beach Barbie for $19.95
Disco Barbie for $19.95
Divorced Barbie for $265.95"
The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
The salesperson annoyingly answers: "Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture, Ken's computer, Ken's dog and cat, Ken's wine collection and... one of Ken's friends."
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From: garage112
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''
''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''
''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
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From: Seattle, WA
Originally Posted by dmpts2k,Mar 2 2006, 01:55 AM
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''
''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
''Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.''
''You foul-mouthed swine,'' retorted the lady indignantly. ''In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public.''
''Hey, coola down lady,'' said the man. ''Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.''
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 8,106
Likes: 2
From: PNW
HAHAHA...
Two old lady's are sitting in the park one day on a bench enjoying the spring weather.
All of a sudden a nude jogger appears, running towards their bench.
The first old lady has a stroke.
The second one couldn't reach.
Two old lady's are sitting in the park one day on a bench enjoying the spring weather.
All of a sudden a nude jogger appears, running towards their bench.
The first old lady has a stroke.
The second one couldn't reach.