Wtf
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Joined: Sep 2001
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From: Milwaukee Area
I have been saving these stories for this past week so I could basically explain them all into one. I am ashamed of how much rice exists in this area of Wisconsin.
First, we have this dumb kid who has a blue/green Volkswagon Jetta. His aluminum spoiler actually goes ABOVE the top of his car, it's so friggin high. He has yellow rims (on a blue/green car.. WTF?) And his front and rear bumers are painted yellow. It looks like a clown car that drove through an airport hangar and a vinyl factory. I have raced the kid twice, and everytime he sees me he denies ever racing me.... (like if he loses, he just acts like it never happened)
Next winner up, some kid in an eclipse GS with a 75 shot of nitrous. Not really ricey, but seriously... he thought he'd be able to take me. He probably also thinks he can take a Z06. His thought process is probably that of a rock. Yay, another kill.
Who's next? Of course we have to have domestic rice too. This guy has an old fox body 5.0 with a wing that I think actually causes the suspension in the back to drop from all the weight. He has type R badges on his car. I'm guessing he also has sexual orientation problems, and it has simply spilled over to his car as well. (mistaken identity anyone?) Here's our conversation:
Him: Let's go, I wanna race.
Me: Do you even know what an S2000 is?
Him: Yeah, they're slow and they have no torque. (I nominate this as most ignorant/idiotic statement of the century)
Me: You're right it has no torque. In fact, I could use a little help pushing my car out of the parking lot so we can race.
Him: Well I have NAWS too.
Me: Oh? let's see.
Him: Well you can't see it. It's an internal system.
Me: Right... I don't see any switches in your car to arm it.
Him: No, I have to reach under the car to arm it.
Me: What kind of shot are you running?
Him: Like, 300 or so.
Me: Great, let's go so you can see what an S2000's tail lights look like.
Obviously a whupping ensued. yay, kill number 3.
Wait, one more contestant. This guy claims he has a neon with a civic VTEC engine in it.
Me: Let me see under the hood.
Him: Okay. It's a DOHC VTEC engine.
Me: (noticing the VTEC Honda spark plug cover) From what year civic?
Him: 1992
Me: They didn't make a DOHC in 92.
Him: yes they did.
Me: (further inspection) Why does it say dodge underneath VTEC spark plug cover? Where is the VTEC solenoid?
Him: Uh. What sole-what?
Me: Right. What do you run.
Him: 13.2
Me: Great then you should have no problem beating me.
Woohoo, kill number 4.
The amount of rice I encountered this week is staggering. Hopefully natural selection will take it's course, before any of these winners reproduce.
First, we have this dumb kid who has a blue/green Volkswagon Jetta. His aluminum spoiler actually goes ABOVE the top of his car, it's so friggin high. He has yellow rims (on a blue/green car.. WTF?) And his front and rear bumers are painted yellow. It looks like a clown car that drove through an airport hangar and a vinyl factory. I have raced the kid twice, and everytime he sees me he denies ever racing me.... (like if he loses, he just acts like it never happened)
Next winner up, some kid in an eclipse GS with a 75 shot of nitrous. Not really ricey, but seriously... he thought he'd be able to take me. He probably also thinks he can take a Z06. His thought process is probably that of a rock. Yay, another kill.
Who's next? Of course we have to have domestic rice too. This guy has an old fox body 5.0 with a wing that I think actually causes the suspension in the back to drop from all the weight. He has type R badges on his car. I'm guessing he also has sexual orientation problems, and it has simply spilled over to his car as well. (mistaken identity anyone?) Here's our conversation:
Him: Let's go, I wanna race.
Me: Do you even know what an S2000 is?
Him: Yeah, they're slow and they have no torque. (I nominate this as most ignorant/idiotic statement of the century)
Me: You're right it has no torque. In fact, I could use a little help pushing my car out of the parking lot so we can race.
Him: Well I have NAWS too.
Me: Oh? let's see.
Him: Well you can't see it. It's an internal system.
Me: Right... I don't see any switches in your car to arm it.
Him: No, I have to reach under the car to arm it.
Me: What kind of shot are you running?
Him: Like, 300 or so.
Me: Great, let's go so you can see what an S2000's tail lights look like.
Obviously a whupping ensued. yay, kill number 3.
Wait, one more contestant. This guy claims he has a neon with a civic VTEC engine in it.
Me: Let me see under the hood.
Him: Okay. It's a DOHC VTEC engine.
Me: (noticing the VTEC Honda spark plug cover) From what year civic?
Him: 1992
Me: They didn't make a DOHC in 92.
Him: yes they did.
Me: (further inspection) Why does it say dodge underneath VTEC spark plug cover? Where is the VTEC solenoid?
Him: Uh. What sole-what?
Me: Right. What do you run.
Him: 13.2
Me: Great then you should have no problem beating me.
Woohoo, kill number 4.
The amount of rice I encountered this week is staggering. Hopefully natural selection will take it's course, before any of these winners reproduce.
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From: Aurora
that is too funny...we have some winners here in colorado
There's a guy with a supercharged mustang gt with GT-R emblems. His excuse...well it's not a mustang gt anymore, it's a race version
There's also a guy with a 3000GT VR-4 that has a bodykit made out parts from home depot (rain gutter, etc) and a cowl induction piece mounted on his hood held on by wood screws
There's a guy with a supercharged mustang gt with GT-R emblems. His excuse...well it's not a mustang gt anymore, it's a race version
There's also a guy with a 3000GT VR-4 that has a bodykit made out parts from home depot (rain gutter, etc) and a cowl induction piece mounted on his hood held on by wood screws
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From: Carcassonne
Yeah Wisconsin, I feel your pain: I know your neck of the woods, as well as the Twin Cities, and know the types you have up there.
Over here in Europe you'd think people *might* have more taste... Well, think again.
See this site for some of the most abominable "rice" you'll probably ever see. And if you don't read French, just click on various buttons to get to the photos:
www.thejackytouch.com
enjoy!
Over here in Europe you'd think people *might* have more taste... Well, think again.
See this site for some of the most abominable "rice" you'll probably ever see. And if you don't read French, just click on various buttons to get to the photos:
www.thejackytouch.com
enjoy!
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From: Houston
[QUOTE]Originally posted by JaminBen
[B]Yeah Wisconsin, I feel your pain: I know your neck of the woods, as well as the Twin Cities, and know the types you have up there.
Over here in Europe you'd think people *might* have more taste... Well, think again.
[B]Yeah Wisconsin, I feel your pain: I know your neck of the woods, as well as the Twin Cities, and know the types you have up there.
Over here in Europe you'd think people *might* have more taste... Well, think again.
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From: Milwaukee Area
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From: Clovis
Originally posted by Wisconsin S2k
Me: What kind of shot are you running?
Him: Like, 300 or so.
Me: Great, let's go so you can see what an S2000's tail lights look like.
Me: What kind of shot are you running?
Him: Like, 300 or so.
Me: Great, let's go so you can see what an S2000's tail lights look like.
It's a shame that dumbass people like this breed faster than normal rational people. There will soon be a new sub-race called Homo Dipshitius