Originally Posted by Barry in Wyoming,Nov 12 2004, 10:03 PM

B Sweeper B 6, I think I know what' wrong with your S2000. Here's the deal. In side the V-technical part of the car is a tiny switchboard which controls the acceleration.

Actually, the switchboard is just the communications center. At the top of each cylinder sits a small avuncular. The avunculars are there to monitor the piston conditions. Sometimes the pistons get out of condition and need more exercise. Then the avuncular calls the switchboard and gets permission from the V-Technical avuncular to take that piston out for a walk and recondition it.

Anyway, the cars need gas, yes, and even oil, but the avunculars only eat pure sugar. Not cane sugar either and certainly not any alcohol. Just pure corn sugar. That's why they're called corny avunculars.

I bet your avunculars are starved for corn sugar. Did you check that. Underneath the oil dip stick is a corn sugar dip stick. Check the level of corn and, if necessary, add some.

Once those avunculars get going with their corn sugar, they'll contact the V-technical switchboard, fire back up and you'll be humming at 9,000 k again, no problemo.

Maybe it won't work for you but it worked for me and a bunch of other S2000 guys I know.

Sorry your mall didn't have enough light for you to check your oil dipstick or your fructose dipstick.