Too late. The ship carrying my MINI is scheduled to pull into the Brunswick, GA port today.
And Dean, could we leave my nuts out of this, please? This isn't THAT kind of forum.

A very happy Fourth to you as well. Please hoist a glass or two of that fancy wine of yours for me.

 

You need to visit more often. You are missed. As for Dean's bad news, I'm hoping he defies the odds (he defies everything else) and proves that spit and vinegar knows no end. That's my wish anyway. I believe that he once made a reference to Alice in the Looking Glass and me in the same sentence. Perhaps that too is true.

 

^ I may well beat the odds. There's a woman who attends rehab with me who was diagnosed with PF four years ago. Here it is four years later and she still doesn't require Oxygen, even for strenuous exercise. Bitch.

 

Dean, you have the best attitude that I've seen in years regarding a terminal illness. I think your family and loved ones will appreciate that.

 

Dean,
I've struggled for 2 days trying to find some sage advice or not come up with some stupid smart ass juvenile remark.
The only thing I've got is enjoy today. None of us knows what tomorrow brings.
I think it is good to recognize the 800 lb gorilla in the room and get him a proper chair at the table.
You have made me think about something I've put the blinders on and conveniently ignored.
My dad died at 40 and I was 17. I've always assumed I would die young as well.
as a consequence long term planning has always been "a few years." Retirement is a myth.
Enjoy life and all it's joys and toys today. of course I'll Probably screw that up and live to 80.

As for my second objective...
I think we utilize humor as a coping mechanism, a way of denying the existence of a problem or issue, or at least diluting it down until it is palatable.
Sadly humor doesn't translate well when written. In serious discussions, humor is often taken as a utter lack of tact.
Fortunately I think we all know I have none of that.

 

Two entire days? Jesus, Jerry, could you pick up the pace a little? I'm running a little sort on time over here.
I know you're dealing with your own health issues, and I wish you the best with them.
My biological father died at fifty. The obituary didn't provide a cause of death, but I'm guessing he died drunk and face down in a gutter somewhere in Chelsea, MA. I missed that opportunity, but not for lack of trying. My point being, using the lives of others is almost always a very unreliable metric. When you hit your eightieth birthday, hoist a glass of Scotch, or whatever the overpriced weed killer is that you drink, to me and to the rest of the bastards you've managed to outlive. In return, I'll try to hold a shady spot for you. But dress lightly.

Personally, I think you possess a great sense of dry humor. Humor can be used as a tool for a variety I things.,I used it to cope during a terrible childhood, I use it to prevent my head from exploding when I see those who hold the most power over our lives do or say unbelievably stupid things. I also use it quite often as a teaching tool. As you probably know, I teach some of the driest, most complex, and boring shit imaginable. Be that as it may, it's still dry, complex, and boring shit my students need to know and understand in order to do well in the career they've chosen. If I can get them laughing about it, they're learning it.
The greatest compliment I ever received as a professor was scribbled on the back of a faculty evaluation form a few years ago that students are asked to fill out near the end of the semester.
Quoting from a failing memory: "This dude is badass. If Albert Einstein and George Carlin had a love child, he would be it".
Now, to be honest, I highly doubt the Einstein reference had anything at all to do with my possession of any alleged superior intellect. I'm certain it was in reference to the fact that Einstein and I had very similar hairdos at the time. Although, I believe "hairdon'ts" would be the more accurate term to use in this case. Now that I've grown older, even more cranky, and walk with a cane I'm constantly being compared to Gregory House. As long as it keeps the seats filled and my students are learning, I don't mind a bit.

 

Very nice, thoughtful posts here. Many of us keep our trials and tribulations private, but you have started a good conversation about what is important when the chips are down. I agree that Rori should be privy to most, but the family not necessarily. My mother is a real worrier, for example, and I would want to keep her from that as long as possible.

 

well this is a relatively serious topic and didn't want to be the first smart ass to appear insensitive. . . . again

I think the tip-off was the house in the villages. Isn't a terminal condition one of the qualification criteria on the purchase and sale agreement?
and as for my health issues, they're just the pain in the arse, life-annoying irritations rather than life-threatening type.

The real question is have you made friends with a wealthy industrialist to fund your bucket list yet?

 

I agree. I worry most about the effect of all of this on my mother's health. She has already lost one son (my half brother) to suicide. To make matters worse, his body was never found. It happened about thirty years ago, and it really took its toll on my mother. I have no desire to add to that burden. However, we have had a "what if" conversation regarding her estate, most of which was going to be left to me, should I survive her. I asked her yesterday to make sure Rori was taken care of, should something happen to me. Apparently, I didn't need to bring it up, as my mother had already made the necessary provisions, so either way Rori will be well provided for.
She adores Rori and often remarks on how much better off I am today than I was with "that worthless bitch", to use her own words. My mother absolutely loathes the ex not just for what she attempted to do to me, but also for how badly she used my mother to get various things from her, while she was cheating on me and knowing full well she was going to be leaving me.
I have two scores to settle before I die and that's one of them. Never provoke or piss off a man who carries a grudge and a terminal illness. Odds are it won't end well.

 

No such requirement. One only has to be at least 55 y.o., or living there with a spouse who is 55 or older. You buy a house there, you own it, and you're free to sell it to anyone meeting the same age requirements.

I don't have much of a bucket list, really. At least nothing on it that requires a great deal of money. I want to go to Scotland and Australia, for starters, then Africa, and some parts of Europe. I'd like to have my very own bail bondsman with deep pockets, and a high powered criminal attorney, so I can celebrate my thirtieth anniversary of sobriety next year by going on an alcohol and drug-soaked weeklong binge, just me and Keith Richards swilling booze, smoking Gauloises, along with the late Christopher Hitchens, Charles Bukowski, William Burroughs, Thomas Paine, and Allen Ginsberg. But I'll probably have to settle for some boring old cake in front of the television. Alas, youth is entirely wasted on the young.