Oh, I see, we'll just have to sneak stuff in on you then.

 

They can be tasty. A pound of cheese helps too, but that might defeat the purpose.

 

Yeah, like I wouldn't notice an omelette made out of fake eggs. And I doubt very much that Martha would be any more inclined to eat the stuff than I am, so I don't think that will be happening any time soon.

 

Now you're talking.

I can't stick to the low fat/cholesterol thing all that closely. I lose too much weight and when I try to compensate by eating more carbs my triglyceride levels go way up. So, I've decided not to worry about it much. When I die is far less important to me than getting the last word when I do die.

 

Since WHEN you die is more important to me than you getting the last word (which will happen -- that goes without saying), you'll continue to get your cakes and cookies with eggeaters and your cereal with skim milk. Since I'm sure I'll be the first to go, you can switch to real eggs and real milk with the lucky next Mrs. Dean.

 

As it is, Margaret let's me eat anything I want when you're not home.

 

Too funny...do you have a thing for women whose names begin with "M"??

 

You tell him, honey! Dominatrixism rules!

Take that, mister!

 

No, it's a long story. When Martha first met my family, my sister mistakenly called her Margaret and Martha thought that I must have another girlfriend named Margaret. It's been a running joke in the family ever since. Margaret (she hates being called Maggie) is my independently wealthy, former super model, and jet-setting marine biologist GF who visits me when Martha is away on trips. If a guy is going to have an imaginary GF, she might as well be a rich one.

 

I wouldn't mind Margaret so much if the b*tch would at least cook or clean around here when I'm gone.