I think Kyle is about ready. Another week or two of him driving me, will make me sure. That's good that your son tried, turned around and made it home, safely. I understand the relief. We also have a 17 year-old daughter who drives, but I don't worry about her too much. Her work at Target is closer than Kyle's school. She is more mellow and her boyfriend drives a lot of the time too, and we trust him too.

 

[QUOTE=Kyras,Jan 4 2005, 09:12 PM] I think Kyle is about ready.

 

I agree. I learned a long, long time ago that worry gets you no where and accomplishes nothing. When you are about to try something new for the first time its hard not to but even then you must fight it. Worrying about the future - be it health, relatives, finances, or whatever is a total waste of energy and resources and generally a negative thing IMO.

 

Ok, let me throw this out as a different perspective. Worrying, in some sick, twisted way, is a sort of preparation for bad events. Worrying helped me in my business because I "worried" about negative things that "could" happen (most of which didn't) and as a result, I was prepared for anything that did. If something bad happened, I had already thought it through in one of my "worrying sessions". Does this work for anyone else? Seems to me, not worrying can lead to being blindsided by something.

 

^ I wouldn't call that worrying. I'd call it a cost/benefit analysis.

 

May I chime in? I am anyway. My son is 20 and has been driving for quite some time. Boys are worse than girls when it comes to driving, I think. He thinks he is in complete control and he drives too fast. He is living in Atlanta now and it is crazy driving there (lived there for many many years). He got our insurance cancelled just a year ago when living at home (tickets that we did not know about) Anyway, he is on his own now. I ask him to call me when he leaves here to go back to ATL, but he never remembers. I stay up all night afraid he is dead in a ditch. The next day, after I have called everyone I know to see if they have seen him (and they always have) I finally speak with him and he is like, Hey, it's no big deal, I'm fine. Sorry I forgot to call you.... Well.... now I have decided I will not ask him to call me anymore. I cannot take the worry. He is 20 years old... I guess it is about time I let go a little (it is really hard, though)

 

^ I hope he has his own insurance now? It must be sky high. Anyway, the car and his driving record should be his responsibility. In this case, the only behavior that can be changed is yours. He's not going to call you. He wants to be responsible, so let him. Just my $.02.

 

First you have to give him the "mother's curse" "May you have one just like you." Until he is a parent he will never understand the worry he is causing you.

If he has a cell phone, don't wait for him to call you, call him after allowing him a reasonable amount of time to get home. If he doesn't like his mother calling him, maybe he'll be more considerate and call you next time.

I too have imagined all sort of bad things when loved ones are not where I think they should be. It's hard to let go, and not try to fix everything when your kids screw up. He'll have to handle his driving issues on his own, and he'll grow up, we all (well most of us) do!

It gets easier as they get older, but I know where you are coming from.

 

I don't consider analyzing a situation and identifying potential hazards as worry . . . just good common sense. For example, recognizing you can have a crash and driving defensively is not the same as worrying you will have a crash.

 

I have told that him many times! I was just as bad as he is, thinking I know all there is to know about life!! (I often tell my mother how sorry I am). He definately has HIS OWN insurance that HE pays for. Our insurance company said we had to "dis-own" him from our cars. He cannot drive any of our cars. And... that is killing him because I have the s2k and hubby has Z4! I would not let him drive either anyway... He would kill himself in it. You know I just love him so much and want him to have everything, but in the same breath, I could just slam his head into the wall! I would love to put a picture of him in here, but I don't know how