Good thread.

I'm trying to help Chris with a car. A friend on this site was giving away a Maxda MX6. The idea is we will fix it up together, with me paying for the parts and him helping with the work and paying the tax, registration, title, plates and insurance. He helped me on Saturday when we picked it up, but the work got pretty involved and way over his head. Today he had to work the day shift. I spent the day tearing the car down because I need my garage back as soon as possible. We'll see if he keeps up his end of this little deal. If not, no yelling. I'll just drop the thing off where he is living and leave all the registration issues to him.

 

Reading this thread and a couple of similar ones makes me feel like a very fortunate fellow, indeed. I have 3 daughters, now 28, 25, and 23. The oldest went through a bit of a rebellious period, but nothing serious. All three did very well or excellent in school and are on the way to successful careers. They are bright, happy, energetic, and motivated. They have all left the nest now, but we very much enjoy each other's company and get together as often as possible.

I think that a big part of this was due to the fact that we chose to have my wife stay at home with the kids when they were young. It was a financial sacrifice, but it payed off in a big way. She kept them constantly engaged. TV was very limited. For my part, I spent as much time as possible with them. When they asked to do something, I always tried to say "yes". When I did have to said "no", they all understood that arguing was useless, and so there was virtually no arguing. In other words, the boundaries were broad, but firm.

There are a few sayings that I believe are good rules:

-No amount of material gifts can substitute for being an involved parent, and it may well make things worse.

-"Keep your kids short on spending money and long on hugs" - Lazarus Long

- Children will usually act as they think they are expected to act. This is not necessarily how you "want" them to act, but how you subtly communicate what you think they will actually do.

Finally, luck helps!

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Kyras
Quite a story jfrblueeyes.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ralper
John

I find many, many interesting things in your post.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Legal Bill
Good thread.

I'm trying to help Chris with a car.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by jrfblueeyes

 

[/QUOTE]
Shorter story, oldest daughter - still a pain the ass but doing well at age 25. Senior in high school, got pregnant. We told her we personally didn't believe in abortion & told her is she didn't want the baby that we recommended adoption, let the choice be hers. She choose to have the baby (Ezra our grandson is now 7). At the time we told her go to college & we will support you any way we can. Don't go to college & you're on your own. She went to college & except for the first sentence is doing great. I'm not sure we can ever give her enough space. [/QUOTE]


Well, came to visit - went storming from the house this morning. We don't support her, hates her mother, don't support decisions she makes with our grandson or the other version - we say something to grandson but we didn't say it the way she wanted. I would like to edit the first sentence in the quote above, "Shorter story, oldest daughter - still a PAIN in the ass."

By the way, she is a great looking blonde if you know of a single guy with everything together in his life - tell him not to contact her.

 

The school of hard knocks and time has a way of bringing them around, just stay tuned.

 

I have two daughters. They are 28 and 30. As has been said before they are opposites. My oldest was quite, good student, graduated from Texas A&M in 4 years. My youngest was another story. Through her teen years she was just pure hell on wheels. Hated us, lied, cheated, hung with a very bad crowd, etc. Something happened, not sure what, but when she was in her Sophmore year in school she did a 180. Took her 5 years to graduate from UNT but with two degrees a BA and a BS. Spent the last 5 years working for CPS (Childrens Protective Services) in Ft. Worth. I think it is her way of giving back for her problems growing up. She is married, husband got back from the Middle East, and presented us with our first grandchild this summer (her husband listed to her first cries via cell phone as he was in Kuwait at the time).
You can only give advice if its wanted else its falling on deaf ears. I hope that those of you with young childeren, if there are problems, have a result like I have had.

Dan

 

And sometimes, especially after they've had kids of their own, they come back and apologize.