Events like those here recently inevitably evoke notions of friendship. One of the things that draw us to a group like this is the value of the friendships we make. I want to say that I have made friends in Vintage that are extremely important to me, and that I will continue to cherish forever. And I have considered Jerry to be a friend. He was one of the first people to reach out to me and Chris some years ago at the first Vintage meet we attended and make us feel welcome. And we love Kathy. I have enjoyed spending time with Jerry at meets and other social occasions in person. We have visited our common alma mater together and reminisced about the good ol' days. I have been a guest in his house, and he has an open invitation to mine. He even let me use his family muzzle loader musket from the Civil War to keep Grannyrod in line once at his country cabin. If he were ever in trouble, I hope he knows that I would be there for him!

Someone once said:
A hug is worth a thousand words, but a friend is worth more.

Jerry is one thing, but pas2k has been a whole nother matter. Online he is indeed sometimes gracious, witty, entertaining, and gregarious -- liked by many, including me. But all-too-often his online behavior has been very different from his otherwise demeanor. This is unfortunate for me, because I wear two hats here; as a co-member of the Vintage group, and now -- as moderator of the Vintage Forum. I will not comment any more on the first role -- you know my heart. But on the second, I know that I can be as tough as I have to be to do a good job as moderator. Someone has to do it, and I would rather it be me for now than a moderator from outside. This forum will be kept open and courteous and free of personal attacks -- even when people are arguing tooth and nail. A way can always be found to express our issues as strongly as we wish -- without -- letting it spill over to become ad hominem attacks and without breaking any rules of civilized decorum. And please, don't ever delete, edit, or emend an admin's post or comments.

I think I needed to say that. Some of you have told me that I would not be successful in both roles. But I don't think moderating in Vintage will be an exhausting task. You guys are all very good people to be associated with. Thank you for that. And after all it is the responsibility of all of us as members and guests to keep this board harmonious.

Please post here if you wish, but please stay strictly on topic. I prefer that we not dwell on the negative, and that we resist any urge to further trash or whitewash Jerry pas2k's online behavior. It is the principle -- that I was wanting to express.

 

I have more friends here than I have in that...real world. Sad I know.

I've also learned a great deal about a lot of subjects that I probably wouldn't have had an interest in had I not found my way here.

Thanks to you all. I think we need a meet!

 

It is very difficult sometimes, isn't it?

 

Emoticons and even extremely careful word choices are no substitute for body language when it comes to communication. (Some sort of training or other I once took asserted that over 80% of interpersonal communication is in the visuals of body language instead of the conversation.)

Now that we live in a world of blogs and so on -- as well as forums such as this -- we're seeing a huge increase in what might be thought of as a new sort of multiple personality syndrome. Someone who's as personable as can be in person turns into someone completely different online. And it's too bad when the two interfere. But they do sometimes. HPH

 

One thing I see and it goes in line with HPH post is the lack of body language and the shortcomings of emoticons to express oneself properly.

I for one am a huge joker I love to joke and tease people and its all in fun trust me, but have found that what I mean to say does not come across properly in the forum. Hence it undermines a lot of my post Therefore i have learned to lay off the posting.

I think Jerry does to some degree have the same issues his although are much more exaberated as he has not reigned it in. This ultimately I believe has become ONE of his biggest obstacles as Im certain he does not recognize it.

 

Many of you I've met personally and I have yet to meet a single one of you that I didn't immediately feel wonderful about. You are my friends. I am a loner in "real life" and prefer the company of myself and my husband to that of anyone else. My children are loners as well and where we have a great relationship when we're together yet we're together seldom. Many people do not understand our need for solitude and "space", but all of you seem to not care of the little peculiarities and when we get together we have a wonderful, wonderful time. On a console in my hallway sits a photograph of Jerry, my Jim, S1997, Angela, me, Matt, Barbara, Alan, Catherine, Blues2k and his wife. The photo was taken at the Gettysburg meet when Jerry very graciously opened the Pumpkinshell to us for a visit. I keep that photo in an honored place in my home because it was one of the best meets I ever attended and at the Pumpkinshell I enjoyed an absolutely wonderful visit, thanks to Jerry.
I've had wonderful times with so many of you who have enriched my life. I have photographs that mean the world to me that were taken at Dean and Martha's home. Dean is my "beloved Dean" and Martha is another southern belle whose friendship I cherish. She opened her home to us and WOW can she cook!!!! She is a beautiful and brilliant lady.
MsPerky, what can I say? I have friends here in my home city who do not mean as much to me as you do. We go back a long way. You've opened your home to us many times and I cherish every minute of every visit.
Rob, I'd have never come to love NJ without you. I remember well arriving in NJ and your meeting Jim and me for dinner when we were on our way to Mystic Seaport for the first Nor'Easter. You had us over for breakfast and carwash the next morning. Jim absolutely adores your Liz as do I and you'll always have a big piece of my heart.
Carmen, I play the cd of our last meet with TomCatt that was held at your house. I cry everytime and yet I so appreciate your hosting that event with us. We are friends.
Dr. C, I remember meeting with you out in Santa Fe and again in Florida. Thanks for the great reading material.
Patty, Lainey, Rick, Jim, Jonas, you're all my friends and the list goes and on and on and on. I'm sad that this situation has occurred and I look forward to its end. We're more than just a bunch of people who chat on the 'net. We're bigger than that.

 

I am a relative newcomer here but I have been deeply involved with various social/special interest web sites for the last ten years. I have found that this environment is a lot like the open road. We often do not show our better selves on line just as we sometimes fail to play well with others when behind the wheel. I like to think that even people who tend to rub me the wrong way from time to time here in vintage (and that number is small) would be most companionable at a meet-up of some kind.

Regarding s2ki and friendship, this gives me an opportunity to say something I've been wanting to for awhile. As I said, I am a relative newcomer here and I find that one or two meets a year, all at the dragon so far, are about all I can handle financially and timewise. So I have not had the plesaure of meeting most of you in this forum. This is somthing I truely wish I could correct. This is as fine and as wise and as interesting a group as it has ever been my pleasure to associate with in the virtual world. To whoever created the Vintage forum: I owe my thanks. It is my privilege to interact with you all. I find this place a constant source of knowledge, wisdom, and laughter.

 

The communications class I took some many years ago asserted that only 10% of communications verbal - the rest is non verbal, body language, facial expression, intonation, posture, even proximity. (sp)

I am an old war horse who yearn for the "good ol" days of face-to-face communications. Less chance to screw up the message, and there was a lot of good that came from having, and taking the time to talk to people - one-on-one.

While this forum allows us to discuss what on our mind, much of the message is lost in translation, and as an added distraction, there are always dozens of "others" out there straining the message thru their filter, and missing the point entirely.

so with that little "soapbox" speech out of the way, I advocate drowning all cell phones, outlaw text messaging, and restrict use of the internet to those who can effectively communicate in print ------------------






I guess that means I am "banning" myself!

 

^^ That would be Ralper, Pas2k and MsPerky. We all owe them a realllllly big thanks.

I'd like to add: dammit, S1997, you've opened a dam of emotion here. I left out a few folks (Capital Grod for one) because I really don't want to get all teary eyed. Lifelong friends have been made here. Zippy and his wife mean an awful lot to me along with many more people . . . some of whom I've never met but who are on my list of "I wish I could." I'm logging off now to go fix my dinner and read a book. This emotion stuff is killing me.

 

Reading all this reminds me I have to get to some meets in 09.
They've been some of the best times I've had.
Levi